Stupid Cunts

So Blogger has totally fucked the way I was posting here. Therefore I'm not going to anymore. Hence the title.

Random

~Yesterday pretty well knocked the fucking shit outta me. It didn't seem so at the time, but I'm still semi-exhausted almost a day later.

Of course it could be the various fucking bullshit park related tasks that I'm under timed pressure to complete. I'm still fairly pissed off about those, which could, in turn, be draining my energy. And it's gonna rain the next few days, which will, in turn, preclude doing essentially any of them, as they are all outdoor operations. *sigh*

I think I'll punt and do a couple of easy ones and call the rest 'on account of rain'.

You know I'm really fucking out of it when I devolve to using fucking sports metaphors...

Random

~We spent much of yesterday morning at the vet. The doctor was late and they had to bring another vet in to cover. They waved the fee for the visit, bless their hearts.

Squirt had gotten an eye irritation last Thursday [Bredsday] and it spread to both eyes and turned infectious. We'd rinsed her eyes with a saline solution which helped – the vet approved - but did not cure.

Then on Sunday [Eponaday] Buckethead went from zero to sixty with an infection. His eyes were clear and fine at 11am and all swollen and inflamed by 7pm.

Just before that we had decided on a vet trip anyway, but that seriously confirmed it. No one else seems affected however. *knocks wood*

So now they both are quarantined in Le-Le's bedroom. Every twelve hours they get 'burritoed' in a towel for a pill and eye goop. They both show signs of improvement already. The saline rinse probably is responsible for that.

We slept the rest of the afternoon and early evening. Well, I slept until nearly 10pm and I suspect I'll be back in the rack soon. Still got Required Shit to do this week. *scowls*

Her Prophet Reflects

~I grew up in an extreme and dysfunctional environment full of emotional violence. I live with the Damage it caused to this very day.

I don't say that as a Victim; I survived it. I state it as a simple fact of who I am, much the same as my height, my gender and my eye color.

I also grew up with Privilege and Money. Combined with my Damage, all that gives me a unique view of the world, a valuable and hard won perspective. And...

...that Damage also makes me very..'jumpy' in situation like the one we're in right now. Our personal prospects are actually pretty good, but we have to wait things out and there is uncertainly and I don't do well with that. Too much imagination in some ways, imagination skewed toward 'negative outcomes'.

This is when I start to doubt myself and my Path - “Who do you think you are?” “You're too damaged to do this work.” “No wonder no-one will follow you.” - and so on. Self examination can be a double edged sword.

I then have to remind myself once more that I am not supposed to be a Leader, but merely a Guide. It is from among you, my Sisters, that our Leaders are to be found, and especially from among those Sisters who will grow up inside The Sisterhood, who will be nurtured and trained to Own their Power and Know their Path from their earliest days.

That is what keeps me going on some of these long empty nights.

Random/Life in The Desert Mash-Up

~It is presently 92° and 13% humidity. It made it up to 90° yesterday and promises to get back to 92° tomorrow.

That is also why I'm fucking off for these few days. Nearly all that 'needs to be done' is outdoor activity. I'm staying inside during the daytime and either sleeping or watching crime drama.

And that's fucking that!

EDIT@3:44pm - It is now 94°

Random

~I totally fucked off today...and it was good.

Then I had to go into Le-Le's room and make an out loud verbal commitment to totally fuck off for the rest of the weekend. Once I was feeling even just a bit rested I started going over all that needs to be done, so that definitive commitment was required. I really need more than just a day. I'm a fried fucking mess, truth be told.

The only thing that absolutely must be done is to take the garbage out. I could blow that off too, but I know that'd just make me fucking nuts. Well, more fucking nuts. *smirk*

And that's all I'm gonna say for now...

Random [redux]

~We are going to fuck off today. I'm not even going around the corner to check the mail. So there...

Random

~Yesterday I swooped and zoomed up and down between Depression and Rage. I finally slept it off for the most part between 1am and 5am. That cycle is still dogging me a bit, but by and large I'm stabilized for now.

It was all 'situational' of course. The Housing Issue is central, but there is actually a larger issue here which is even more depressing.

That Woman has proclaimed herself for decades to be a Progressive and a Champion of Social Justice. She joined the Peace Corps at 64 and last year went down to Mexico to volunteer at an orphanage.

But in the crunch she lapsed into the worst type of tribalism, totally refusing to look at the real culprit in the matter – The Note Holder – because they go to the same synagog, going straight to obfuscation and legal terrorism as fast as any Republican Plutocrat and with all of their self justification.

That she is economically oppressing a disabled woman on a fixed income with a life threatening, physically disabling disease never enters into her mind. She wants her money. That she lost her money by getting involved in a national Ponzi scheme also never enters her mind. The Note Holder is a Righteous Jew and would never cheat anyone, at least not a fellow Jew.

That is, in microcosm, why I have no faith in the survival of The Republic. I strongly suspect much of Occupy would behave in the same fashion. The American Middle Class is self obsessed, fickle and myopic. It fully deserves the ass fucking it is presently getting.

All this has been tiring and will continue to be so for the next number of months. As I have said, I can sleep it off. It's Le-Le that I worry about. If anything happens to her...

...well, that is best left unspoken. Those who know me can piece it together.

Random

~I finally went back to sleep at around 8pm and slept until around 1am. I actually feel somewhat human now.

I'm surfing and puttering and will likely be back in the rack as the sun comes up..which is fine. The only thing I have on the menu today is taking a smaller Trucklette bench out of Baby, my '86 SAAB sitting unused in our driveway, because she is going to our friend Jack's and getting an electronic flyswatter via UPS.

The first few years we were here we really never had flies. There'd be the usual couple/three who'd show when it got warm. That's pretty much a given. The place may be cluttered, but I'm a maniac about dirty dishes and cleaning the kitchen. That's a leftover from being the Rents fucking houseboy for so many years.

But then we got new neighbors. They have dogs and used the backyard as a run, letting dozens of shit piles sit there for weeks. Now we have fucking aerial armadas of flies. This electronic flyswatter is the size and shape of a Ping-Pong paddle, but with a bug zapper in the middle. There is also an old fashion flyswatter en route.

I take great pleasure in killing flies and with my new weapons a massacre is now on the menu. *grin*

And there ya have it...

Random

~Fuck me, I'm a fucking mess tonight. Fucking park manager was doing her 'spring rounds' today, giving out notices on what needs to be done to spruce the joint up. And she woke us both up and me twice because she forgot one.

That was around 1pm and I hadn't gotten to sleep until 6ish and Le-Le around 8ish. I'd laid down again for about ten minutes when she came back. And I wasn't able to get back to sleep after that I was so pissed off. [I was sleeping well and deeply]

I told her to just tape to the door and not knock and I'd do a 'confirmation' later. They're effectively 'legal notices' regarding park rules and regs blah blah blah....

It's all nick-picky shit that we can deal with. It's the lack of sleep mixed with some PTSD that's got us both wound up.

Just ran out of energy to type this.....

Random

~I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. Keep writing 'legal letters' in my head when I lay down.

Saw our lawyer today, a Good News/Bad News session. Bad News is That Woman will likely win her case against us. Good News is the operative word here is eventually. We paid him a retainer fee and now a war of attrition begins. *sigh*

We're still working on a loan to get into a new place. Both aspects are going to last for months. It'd be nice if That Woman would let up, but I suspect she's delusional. She's coming after this joint like it was the fucking Taj Mahal.

Truth is, she's gonna die in the red no matter what she does. She gave $74,000 to The Note Holder, is already about $6000 into The Ambulance Chaser, this place is neither salable nor rentable at this point and if/when it ever is, it'll not fetch more than $20/25K.

Whatever....

Random

~I have an appointment with our lawyer this morning. After that, I'll probably be heading up to the courthouse in Mojave to file a challenge to the papers served last week. I had Le-Le sign the cheques to be used, even though it's a joint account. She is the Defendant after all.

I'm going to do most of the 'heavy lifting' on this this, the meetings and filings and such. The effort may make me 'moody', but I can sleep that shit off. Le-Le really cannot. And if this works out as I hope, signing cheques may be all that is required of her.

The Other Side's papers were filed the same day that Le-Le wrote her letter to That Woman. I have no doubt that its content caused some consternation. But I expect that The Ambulance Chaser probably said to That Woman, “Look, you spent the two hundred and fifty dollars on the filing fee, so let me serve her and see what happens.” He may have even tossed that service in as a freebie.

The strategy here is to show that we're prepared to fight this thing all the way down the line. In the papers it mentions that a single offer was made in response to the March 15th 'auction', but it was not accepted. I'll bet good money it was a pittance. Add that to the numbers Le-Le's letter pointed out and it's possible That Woman will give up once we push back again.

Le-Le did say that we were going to get out of here both because of the structural issues and the legal provenance issues. Even if That Woman chills out, the legal status of this place is still very cloudy. Combined with a leaky roof and a moldy closet et al...well, time to go.

We do have the means and the opportunity to do so. We just need some breathing space to work that out. If that means beating up old ladies in court, then so be it. It's not like we didn't give her an out.

And you can take that to the bank...

Her Prophet Speaks

..message to an old friend..

"At the center of everything that I am doing and dealing with is The Explanation. I've been working on it directly for nearly four years now and I estimate that it is about three quarters done. I know it seems sometimes like I'm standing still – it feels like to me as well at times – but in fact I'm always working on it.

Even when the First Version is finally done and published, that will only be a single Event in an ongoing Process. And so it is...

http://theexplanation-nebris.blogspot.com/ "

Random

~It rained most of yesterday. We stayed indoors.

We are both really fucking angry about this bullshit, but managed to relax nonetheless.

Open warfare starts on Monday.

More later....

Random [redux]

~My reaction to today's events is just kicking now. The running around help with the adrenaline surge. And now I'm crashing just a bit. I probably need to get some sleep.

Le-Le was in a fury for a while. She ate and finally went to bed about an hour and a half ago. I'm doing my best to take on as much of this as I can. Yeah, I'm fucked up, but I can sleep most of this off. I don't got no lesions on my brain or my spine.

The Ambulance Chaser better pray she doesn't...well, let's just say in that head space I go straight to thoughts of Molotov cocktails and shotguns. I can smile and be charming, but Goddess help you and yours if you hurt mine. Believe me I say there is an evil sadistic mother fucker not too far inside of me.

This afternoon when I got off the 14 South at Avenue J there was this guy panhandling by the off-ramp. I thought 'old man' for a moment at the time, but he was probably twenty years younger than I am. He had a dog who was just chilling there like dogs do. I gave him a buck. He was pretty lost. That was the only time I cried today....until now.

Random

~Ms Tax Lady got back to me quickly this time and was a bit snippy. Plus she did not provide all of the information I asked for. Well, fuck her. I'll get that out of the Tax Assessor's office.

Nothing else in e-mail. Nothing new on Kern Courts. Ain't checked snail mail yet. I'll do that in a bit when I go pick up my Happy Pills.

Starting to think about dealing with this shit made my guts twitch. At least they didn't knot. I expect I'm gonna fuck off until Monday, unless there's some 'major development'. That'll include calling Her Son The Lawyer as well.

Honestly, I really don't feel up to dealing with any of this. I will of course. Better than just letting it hang. That takes a different toll. Le-Le's...

That's where I had gotten to at around half twelve this afternoon when there was a knock on the door. It was the aforementioned Major Development and I could tell by the sound the knock.

It was The Ambulance Chaser's legal assistant. He jumped back a bit when I came out. I wasn't coming at him. I just did want any feline escapees. But he's maybe 5'6 and 140lb and I move fast and tend to loom. He served us [well, Le-Le] court papers. I looked them over and asked if they had paid the property taxes. I believe I smiled a bit. He stammered that he didn't handle that stuff and I let him go on his way. He was mighty nervous. *snerk*

Good thing I answered. I think Le-Le might have clobbered him. lol She was fucking pissed, I mean pissed. Beyond the We're Taking You Court part, the papers were just a re-hash of the same old shit. That her case is still weak is irrelevant to the Ambulance Chaser. He gets paid one way or another,

I could not find the case number listed on Kern Courts, so I drove up to Mojave to check it out. Seems there's a law that keeps case filings secret for 60 days to prevent ambulance chasers from trawling for clients.

Then I headed down to our lawyer in Lancaster and give him the 411. He was disappointed in this development, but not surprised. He had a kind of 'They never learn' expression. We talked a bit. He is also bemused as to why the property taxes are on Le-Le's credit report. There's a good chance we may be able to get out from under them. *crosses fingers*

I also told our lawyer and his 'gal Friday' that regarding any paperwork that needed delivering and/or filing I was ready and able to run around doing such. That will save money and expedite matters. It'd also give me something do besides waiting some more.

For now however...we get to wait some more. *sigh* That's the way this shit rolls. Slowly.

And there ya have it....

Random

~It rained this morning. The power went out for about an hour. [6ish to 7ish in the am] I ate a snack while sitting in the dark.

I finally made it down to WinCo when the sun came out. Bought a fuckton of cat food and few other things. But first I got a new battery for the big flashlight next door at Lowes.

Still no news from anyone. Just re-sent my 'tax lady' e-mail with a I Haven't Heard From You/Please Respond note. It has been over a week. Time to start pushing.

Not much else to say...

Random

~I had these weird Star Trek: TOS/Game of Thrones mash-up dreams, ones that I was both directing and acting in. They were extensive and relentless. I've never even watched GoT, but media is saturated with the thing, so I expect I absorbed it by osmosis.

I felt all 'delicious' in bed, [Love that feeling!] very snug and comfy. But I was hungry and so I choose to get up. We don't seem to have gotten the rain yet, but the humidity is up to 71%. It was 10% when I lay down around 6pm. [slept until 1am] That helped my sleep a lot.

This gives one an idea about our so-called schedules. Le-Le slept sixteen hours yesterday, from 11am on Monday until 3am on Tuesday. I went to sleep just a few minutes after she got up and slept until 11am myself. Then back in bed at 6pm and she went down sometime between there and when I got up.

Because of her various afflictions, she needs long periods of sleep on a regular basis. Me, I switch out on my sleep cycles. There's my Up/Down Cycle; three to six hours sleep, followed by three to six hours awake, repeat. That's often followed by a ten/twelve hour sleep cycle, with three/four hours awake, then a two/three hour nap, then up for fourteen to twenty hours.

Anyway, as I said in my last Random, we're resting up for the next round, whatever it may be. Certainly The Taxman Cometh is on our menu, as is Home Loans...and Moving. [ack!] As for That Woman. et al? I suspect that's 'done', but am now fairly certain we won't know for sure unless we ask.

At this moment, I'm relaxed and mellow. I'm the only one awake in the house. Icarus and Athena greeted me as I made my coffee, but they both went back to sleep, though now that I think about it, Icarus may actually have gone back to the kitchen rear window to watch bunnies being nocturnal in our backyard.

I'm just gonna surf and then watch some crime drama....and there you have it.

Dear Trolls...

...we're gonna be fine. In fact, we're gonna be doing better than most of y'all. Sorry. lol

Random

~It's another quiet day here at La Casa De Los Gatos El Dormir. No drama in e-mail, snail mail or the Kern Courts. The weather is lovely, low 70's and breezy and all our windows are open.

I asked Le-Le if she wanted to go do some banking, start shifting money out of Chase and into the local credit union. [I have an account there] She said she wasn't in the mood and, to be honest, neither was I.

Essentially, she's waiting out a month since she paid off the various debts for them to clear off her credit report and then apply to some other lenders. We're not in love with the lender given as our first choice.

I went up to Albertson's and it was full of hoomons, but I survived. Now, I'm gonna have some lunch and watch a movie.

And there you have it....

Nebs Is Dreadfully Cynical

~I confess that my first thought upon hearing that Santorum had suspended his campaign in the aftermath of his three year daughter having pneumonia was that her illness was a staged event designed to allow him to exit the race with sympathy and in a 'non-defeated' manner.

Though I felt slightly 'unclean' for thinking that, such is the poisoned state of politics here in The Republic that I suspect I'm not the only one who entertained such suspicions.

Random/Life in The Desert Mash-Up

~It was wonderfully calm and quiet here today. No drama from anywhere. We really needed that.

I'll see how I feel tomorrow. If no one gets back to us about anything, I may take another day off. Remember we've had some kind of bullshit going on here since late last October non-stop and intermittently for a year before that. Breathing space is required.

The last two days the temp has gotten up into the low 80's and the humidity down into the middle single digits. But by this time tomorrow it's supposed to be in the 40° to 50° range and raining. That'll be interesting.

And that is just about that...

Random

~I suspect I'm not going to get anything done today. I'd been 'achy and crappy' since Thursday – you know, when I cracked open the Mold Closet and humped the two 100+lb Trucklette benches out onto the porch and back again – so yesterday after doing a 'light run' to Albertson's and making sure the garbage was handled, I took one of Le-Le's Flexerils and lay down. I slept about six hours.

It did help my achiness a lot, but it also got me fucking stoned, which is why I've avoided taking the things. Funny, I spent decades chasing that feeling and now, after being sober for so long, I don't really like it anymore. I've gotten very comfortable being 'sharp and clear'.

I did sleep another ten hours last night, but I'm still kinda punchy today. That's why the Calender post didn't happen until late morning. That punchiness is why I suspect I won't deal with any Housing Issues today. Not on the top of my game, ya know. And there's been no news so far, though I haven't checked the snail mail yet.

It seems I'm bottling up emotions, as well. I listened to Wichita Lineman a little while ago and started to cry. I honestly have no idea what it tapped into – I like the song, but it was never important to me as best as I can remember - but the tears flowed within seconds of it starting and kept on until the end. My eyes are tearing up at the mere recollection. *sigh*

That's pretty much where I'm at right now. I'll just relax the rest of the day. I got some 'hard pushing' to do this week.

Her Prophet's 'Easter Message'

"Now, from a legal and an epistemological stand point, The Pentavalence is a Religion in that it emanates from Revealed, and not Empirical, Knowledge, and it is meant to operate in a religious manner. However, we in The Temple of The Pentavalence view it as a Metaphysical Operating System and, in part, this is why.

The entire concept of Religion has itself has become problematic. Religion almost always implies Dogma, a fixed ideology that says, “The world is this way. Period!” and for a modern technological civilization, that is really a non-starter. Very few things ever stay 'this way' for long in such a civilization. And the Religions that now dominate our world clash with that paradigm more and more every day and with steadily increasing violence.

The problems the JudeoChristLamic Father/God Cults have with our modern techno-logical civilization are fairly obvious. All three are the 'metaphysical operating systems' of Bronze Age desert nomads ruled by tribal Patriarchs. Their world view is narrow and provincial and their God is a Small God, one confined, at the very least, to this world alone.

Confronted with the modern scientific reality of The Universe, He is positively Lilliputian. For His faithful, such a situation evokes Fear, then Hate, and finally, Rejection.

There are a growing number who consider Atheism to be the ideal replacement for Religion, but it too says, “The world is this way.”, though the “Period!” usually goes unspoken. Plus Atheism has two major failings, both fatal from our point of view.

First, as presently constituted, Atheism is essentially reactive, specifically a rejection of the JudeoChristLamic Father/God Cults, and every one of its tenants seem couched as a direct rebuke of said. That tends to allow the Father/God Cultists to frame all the debates and every time.

Second, and more importantly, Atheism also does not in any way, shape, or form, address the existential questions of Human Purpose and Existence in a vast and seemingly indifferent universe. It is utterly cold and denies the need for Spiritual solutions that Humans have sought ever since we could form the concept.

Hinduism and Buddhism contain many useful concepts, but each has its own crucial limitations.

Hinduism is really a 'cultural religion', that of India and of its people. It 'exports' poorly. Her Prophet has watched Westerners practice Hinduism and, to him at least, it always seemed a bit embarrassing, while the experience of Indian practice is usually very moving. That latter gave him an understanding of why some non-Indians would be drawn to Hinduism, but that is much akin to white folks wanting to be 'black'.

True Buddhism is essentially Nihilist, its real practice requiring a total rejection of The Material and as such it must be a rejection of any modern technological civilization, which is by its very nature is ferociously materialist. Buddhism can suit individual practitioners quite well, but is basically unsuited for a civilization. We do not include the types of Buddhism where The Buddha has been remade as a 'god'. We consider them 'apostate'.

Modern Paganism is rather a mish-mash and barely any kind of an 'ism' at all and that in and of itself makes it unsuited as the Spiritual Path of an entire civilization. Plus, it too is deeply provincial.

Pagans - at least those that we know - are humans, so their Paganism is Anthropocentric. They are generally born of two genders, so their Paganism is Dualistic. They live on Earth, so their Paganism is Geocentric. And the large majority of them here in the United States are culturally - and often racially - European, so their Paganism is Euro-centric.

But, as with Hinduism and Buddhism, Paganism contains a number of useful concepts and, like those, we of The Temple have incorporated many of them.

So, in barely five hundred words, we have just dismissed the world's five major religions and two of the most significant contemporary philo-religious movements. Such is the nature of this work.

While reading the above, some of you may have asked, 'why does an entire civilization need a single Spiritual Path?'

Part of that answer is quite simple; we, The Temple of The Pentavalence, were created with the goal of utterly transforming human civilization as it presently stands and we were created is this form because history has shown over and over and over again that a Spiritual Path is the single most effective and long lasting method of achieving such a total transformation.

Such a total transformation is required because, as stated above, the human species is clearly in trouble. And there is another answer to the question, 'why does an entire civilization need a single Spiritual Path?'

The answer is, “In order to guide a Triple Economy.”

..read it all at Her Prophet Explains: Part Three "The Temple's Grand Strategy"