Friday, February 25, 2011

Electoral Insanity

~I'm seriously thinking of running for Congress next year [CA-22]. At first I was worried that be doing so I could lose my SSI, but me running against McCarthy is fucking nuts, so I'd say I'm still in that ballpark. Of course, if I actually do threaten him – this is Red Jebus country so that ain't likely – he, or some staff flunky, might 'have a word' with the SSA. But I'd mention that possibility right up front to head him off.

If I actually engage in this madness, I'd use the strategy I've proposed to the state Dems – they blew me off btw – the building of a state of the art VA Hospital in southern Kern County. As I live in Rosamond, and Goddess Knows I know all politics is local, I'd campaign for it to be built here.

And I'd use what I call The Rainman Method; I'd focus in an almost autistic fashion upon that one issue, a state of the art VA Hospital in southern Kern County. Knowing me, I'd blab about plenty of other things, but I would come back to that like a broken record.

Bumper Sticker: Support American Veterans: Vote Daly for Congress. Put that on a flowing American flag background. lol

This is because of Le-Le really. She's a Disabled Vet and needs serious medical attention. But the two major VA hospitals are each about sixty five to seventy miles away [130/140 mile round trips], one down in LA's San Fernando Valley and the other up in Bakersfield. And both routes run through winding canyon passes from here. A facility in southern Kern would be central to tens of thousands of Vets and good for the local economy. [see, I'm already]

I started writing this hours ago, but my browser froze 'cause of multiple up-dates. So I shut it down and then lay down. Thought about this – and much of what I'd say and do – while I drifted off. Keeping all that to myself for now however.

Still need to finish The Explanation of course...and this IS an intriguing adventure. Chances that'd I'd actually get elected are Slim and None, but that would give me a greater freedom to speak. Plus it could raise my Media Profile.

Stay tuned....

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Her Prophet Speaks

"So here is what we propose: creating a society that is both stable and dynamic, a society that has two primary purposes: First, to strive to honestly understand the true nature of everything in the universe, which is ultimately The Search for The Creatrix...and Second, to raise generations of daughters who are strong, healthy, and balanced in Mind, Body, and Spirit so that the First Purpose may be pursued without pause or hindrance.

I can imagine no greater goal. Can you?"

Her Prophet Explains: Part Seven - “Summation”

~All actions and decisions can be reviewed upon a simple basis; does it move you [and us] toward or away from our Greater Goal?

If the answer is toward, then the action or decision is a proper one.

If the answer is away, then the action or decision is a improper one.

If the answer is no perceived effect, double check just to make sure.

If that answer remains the same, then simply ask if it is pleasurable to you.

If the answer is yes, then proceed freely.

However, as simple as the above process may be, one must truly understand the wider world, one's own Self and The Greater Goal, in essentially that order, to be able to effectively and accurately engage in said process.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Nebs Sez

"You unpack the fucker as long as the fucker needs unpacking"

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


~Dreaming of the Ice Palace again this morning, the brownstone in Manhattan where I grew up. Yeah, we owned the whole building, all five stories, but only the second floor was an apartment. The rest was dedicated to the Evil Stepfather's business, which was fashion photography, and later TV commercials.

It was sold off about fifteen or so years ago, but in this dream EP* had excavated the basement and created a new studio 'downstairs'. There was a huge opening in the old reception area with a staircase. Light streamed upward into the 'old portion'.

EP was busy shooting something and 'noted without noting' that I was fascinated with this new step up. There was a new entrance on the next street over, which had an East 38th Street address, but in retrospect was clearly an LA street, somewhere on the Westside. It sure wasn't East 38th, NYC.

I rummaged around the place, looking for any of 'my stuff' that survived the renovation. Didn't find any. The whole thing started to feel 'constricting' and I had to fight my way back up to waking. Ugh. As I did so I remember that the place was long gone along with anything I had not taken.

While I was taking a shit I had an interesting revelation. Weeks ago a new TV show premiered with an actress I like from a previous show. I watched the first episode. In it a scene takes place in a 'fashion business office'. Lining one entire wall of said office were a trio of EP's most famous shots. What I remembered while sitting there and voiding is that I had utterly erased that show from my mind. Now granted the thing was kinda so-so, but it had mentally vanished as if I'd never watched. Oy...

I've also been having 'homeless' dreams, things like 'forgetting' where I living or that I didn't pay the rent or where I'm living has become someplace else and so on. Fucking hate those. I wake up from them and have to reorient myself, remind me [and the Inner Kids too I expect] that I do have a roof over my head and that, for now at least, 'shit's cool'.

I really wish I could stop dreaming about my family. It's very tiring.

*El Padrasto='The Stepfather' in Spanish.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Nebs Sez

"Hope and Change" was never more than a marketing slogan and Obama was always a Product, a stalking horse for The Corporate State.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Her Prophet Blah Blah Blah Blah

~I am a venomous and hostile son-of-a-bitch and usually filled with a deep loathing and profound contempt for the vast majority of my fellow humans. Though I have asked E many times – and She has answered as many – most of the time I still find myself mystified as to why She choose me to follow this Path. On Good Days, it seems like a Redemption. On Bad Days, like a Punishment. But on the rest of the days it seems like there is precious little difference between those two conditions and all of that rather subjective.

It's always a Lesson I suppose. *sigh*

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Nebs Sez

"Corporate America has followed Objectivist philosophy to a tee by being utterly self interested. Our industry has been shipped overseas to use cheaper labor and lower operating costs. Our non-industrial high paying jobs have been largely outsourced. Their lobbyists pushed a deregulation that turned the financial sector into a casino that destroyed literally trillions in wealth, the savings and investments of millions of hard working citizens. And on top of all of that they have gained themselves near permanent tax holiday. For any nation to allow such a philosophy to operate is to commit economic suicide. But you guys are all, "Hey, what's mine is mine," which functionally makes you sociopaths."

"And Rand's exaltation of serial killers is a true window into her worldview. The serial killer does what he wants and takes what he needs without empathy or deferment to others. He is the ultimate Objectivist."

"You clowns are such a bunch of sad wannabe millionaire losers. Have fun flipin' burgers. lol"

Friday, February 11, 2011

On Women Being Just As Savage As Men....

"I use the behavior patterns of serial killers to make my point in this regard, which some dismiss as 'too extreme', but for the underlying tendencies of each sex to be effectively contrasted, one needs to examine the extremes, to look at where each sex goes when truly pushed.

The first pattern is the Raw Numbers. Male serial killers outnumber their female counterparts by a good ten to one and kill in greater numbers, as well.

The second pattern is the Methodology. Males tend to 'violate and butcher'; stabbing, shooting, rape, mutilation [which is often sexual in nature], dismemberment, 'trophy taking' [again often of a sexual nature], cannibalism and necrophilia. Females tend to poison and pass the death off as accidental or simply hide the corpse.

The third pattern is Motivation and this is the key to the above. Males tend to kill for power over their victims, who are overwhelmingly female and frequently prostitutes, easy targets, 'invisible and disposable', which also makes them 'morally deserving' of their fate from many a killer's point of view.

Females almost always kill for financial gain – the classic Black Widow who kills for insurance - or for 'self esteem' – the hospital Angel of Death who kills to 'end suffering'. Yes, these are also about gaining power, but killing tends to be a route to such, not the destination itself.

Even the great Exception That Proves The Rule, Aileen Wuornos, kept killing for money. Her first kill was survival, the beautiful irony that she likely killed a serial killer who had targeted her. And her rage at her own life long sexual abuse drove her on. But to me that just facilitated her emotions. She used the money from her victims to provide for her girlfriend, so you could say she killed for love.

Now there are men who do the same thing, but they also tend do it in the same way. They kill the victims of their robberies to keep from getting captured and tend to do so 'plain and simple', with none of the intimate ritual of the sexual serial killer.

Women will kill to protect their children and their homes and will do so with great savagery. But as a rule, they don't kill merely to feel powerful. That is almost exclusively The Male's domain."


Thursday, February 10, 2011


~Lately my dreams have been good, far happier than my waking, so I have been staying in bed a lot. I suppose that could be classified as depression, but I'd use a small 'd'. A large part of that is external. Unless you're a stone Sunshine Nazi, even a casual perusal of any news feed you care to choose will get you some kind of depressed.

And part of this is sadness. Goddess Knows I have armies of regret. Besides my own 'life issues' of the “I coulda been a contender” variety, a significant motivation for the Work I do is a living amends to the women I have hurt in my life or the ones I could not 'save'. I have come to truly accept that I could never 'save' anyone other than myself, but those I wished...well, that still hurts not matter how much Wisdom I have garnered.

Last Sunday was my mother's birthday. In the weeks proceeding I entertained the idea of some sort of acknowledgment of the event. But, in the end, I could find nothing that didn't seem as if it couldn't be misinterpreted as something else negative. Which it likely would.

And I have been sad ever since....

She has always hated 'heartfelt letters' and the like. I suppose they make her feel and she has never wanted to face that. I guess it's all too painful for her, all her armies of regret.

So I have to accept that she will probably go to her grave without us ever resolving any of this, which I can do. I'm tougher than I sound when I'm whining like this. The sadness however...that I'll likely take to my grave.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Nebs Sez

"I know I bitch and moan about DOOM all the fucking time too, but at least I leaven that a bit with music vids, cat macros and random weird shit." least that's what I do on my Live, not so much..


~I'm kind of disheartened right about now. Working on The Explanation isn't easy, especially when I never seem to get any feedback or acknowledgment when I post anything here that relates to it...except of course for the crap I got from a now former LJ 'friend'. And even then, though I did 'compose a response' in my head, my disheartenment made me say, “Fuck it. Why bother?”

One of y'all did get on my case lately about finishing the thing, saying she's being 'showing it around', but has to lug her laptop to do so, which did motivate my a bit and underscores the need for a hard copy paper volume....

What's prompted this disheartenment is the total silence on my last Cyber Witch story,
A Day In The Life. No one said a fucking word about it anywhere. I suppose nobody gets that it is part and parcel of The Explanation, one of many windows into what I speculate this New Matriarchy could look like. In fact the largest section of The Explanation is dedicated to that very thing: Part Six “Stories and Works”. [had to do a Part One [Intro/Near Future] and a Part Two [Far Future] because of text limits] And there's an addendum with my early efforts in that direction: Addendum B “Tales of The VÄ“kkan Cults”.

I often feel like I'm just sitting here in the middle of the night out in Southwest Buttfuck Nowhere ranting into the empty darkness. And it's getting harder and harder to 'reset and refocus' and each time I have to do so it pushes the finish line further back until maybe it will be too late to matter anymore...which I'm sure would please some who either think I'm a just fucking loon or believe this Work to be innately evil.

I don't know what else to say....

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Nebs Sez

"We are led by the least among us because most humans are vile ignorant scum and it is they who are 'led to choose' those who lead."

Friday, February 4, 2011

Nebs Sez x2

"I believe that all Public Utilities - water, electricity, health, transport, roadways, phones, internet - should be just that: public, as in state owned and non-profit. I'll take govt inefficiency over corporate rapacity any day. Not that I'm holding my breath over any of that mind you"

"I saying just saying this morning that there's all this screaming about The Gay Agenda, but nothing about The Corporate Agenda and how I'd rather go with The Gay Agenda because with that at least I'd get a kiss and a reach-a-round while I was being fucked in the ass."

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Quote of The Day

"And it always results in victory for one side and defeat for the other. It’s set up to do that. It’s imported the worst excesses of market fundamen-talism into the one arena that used to be safe from them, the one part of our public and social life that used to be free of the commercial pressure to win or to lose, to survive or to die, which is the very essence of the religion of the market. Like all fundamentalists who get their clammy hands on the levers of political power, the market fanatics are going to kill off every humane, life-enhancing, generous, imaginative and decent corner of our public life. I think that little by little we’re waking up to the truth about the market fanatics and their creed. We’re coming to see that old Karl Marx had his finger on the heart of the matter when he pointed out that the market in the end will destroy everything we know, everything we thought was safe and solid. It is the most powerful solvent known to history. “Everything solid melts into air,” he said. “All that is holy is profaned.”" ~Philip Pullman Leave the libraries alone