Thursday, April 26, 2012

Stupid Cunts

So Blogger has totally fucked the way I was posting here. Therefore I'm not going to anymore. Hence the title.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


~Yesterday pretty well knocked the fucking shit outta me. It didn't seem so at the time, but I'm still semi-exhausted almost a day later.

Of course it could be the various fucking bullshit park related tasks that I'm under timed pressure to complete. I'm still fairly pissed off about those, which could, in turn, be draining my energy. And it's gonna rain the next few days, which will, in turn, preclude doing essentially any of them, as they are all outdoor operations. *sigh*

I think I'll punt and do a couple of easy ones and call the rest 'on account of rain'.

You know I'm really fucking out of it when I devolve to using fucking sports metaphors...


~We spent much of yesterday morning at the vet. The doctor was late and they had to bring another vet in to cover. They waved the fee for the visit, bless their hearts.

Squirt had gotten an eye irritation last Thursday [Bredsday] and it spread to both eyes and turned infectious. We'd rinsed her eyes with a saline solution which helped – the vet approved - but did not cure.

Then on Sunday [Eponaday] Buckethead went from zero to sixty with an infection. His eyes were clear and fine at 11am and all swollen and inflamed by 7pm.

Just before that we had decided on a vet trip anyway, but that seriously confirmed it. No one else seems affected however. *knocks wood*

So now they both are quarantined in Le-Le's bedroom. Every twelve hours they get 'burritoed' in a towel for a pill and eye goop. They both show signs of improvement already. The saline rinse probably is responsible for that.

We slept the rest of the afternoon and early evening. Well, I slept until nearly 10pm and I suspect I'll be back in the rack soon. Still got Required Shit to do this week. *scowls*

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Her Prophet Reflects

~I grew up in an extreme and dysfunctional environment full of emotional violence. I live with the Damage it caused to this very day.

I don't say that as a Victim; I survived it. I state it as a simple fact of who I am, much the same as my height, my gender and my eye color.

I also grew up with Privilege and Money. Combined with my Damage, all that gives me a unique view of the world, a valuable and hard won perspective. And...

...that Damage also makes me very..'jumpy' in situation like the one we're in right now. Our personal prospects are actually pretty good, but we have to wait things out and there is uncertainly and I don't do well with that. Too much imagination in some ways, imagination skewed toward 'negative outcomes'.

This is when I start to doubt myself and my Path - “Who do you think you are?” “You're too damaged to do this work.” “No wonder no-one will follow you.” - and so on. Self examination can be a double edged sword.

I then have to remind myself once more that I am not supposed to be a Leader, but merely a Guide. It is from among you, my Sisters, that our Leaders are to be found, and especially from among those Sisters who will grow up inside The Sisterhood, who will be nurtured and trained to Own their Power and Know their Path from their earliest days.

That is what keeps me going on some of these long empty nights.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Random/Life in The Desert Mash-Up

~It is presently 92° and 13% humidity. It made it up to 90° yesterday and promises to get back to 92° tomorrow.

That is also why I'm fucking off for these few days. Nearly all that 'needs to be done' is outdoor activity. I'm staying inside during the daytime and either sleeping or watching crime drama.

And that's fucking that!

EDIT@3:44pm - It is now 94°


~I totally fucked off today...and it was good.

Then I had to go into Le-Le's room and make an out loud verbal commitment to totally fuck off for the rest of the weekend. Once I was feeling even just a bit rested I started going over all that needs to be done, so that definitive commitment was required. I really need more than just a day. I'm a fried fucking mess, truth be told.

The only thing that absolutely must be done is to take the garbage out. I could blow that off too, but I know that'd just make me fucking nuts. Well, more fucking nuts. *smirk*

And that's all I'm gonna say for now...

Friday, April 20, 2012

Random [redux]

~We are going to fuck off today. I'm not even going around the corner to check the mail. So there...