Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Her Prophet Whines

~Had another set of my 'in school' dreams. Too complex to relate the details. All my dreams have become quite long and very intricate these days.

I was sorta hanging with the Cool Kids in this expensive and exclusive uber- progressive middle school. They liked me, but didn't fully accept me. I could see them with my 'adult eyes' and it was obvious that, even though they were all smart and aware, they were also shallow and directionless.

But they were all pretty and hip and it felt good, in that profound 'high school' fashion, to be able to run with them. The whole thing was also laced with a deep feeling of longing throughout and I woke up feeling sad and lonely. *sigh*

My 'off the cuff/first cup of coffee' analysis is that I'm feeling lost in regards to my work re The Temple. That largely 'feels right'. Fairly easy call, I guess. This can be a lonely and often seemingly pointless Path.

Not giving up. Way too fucking stubborn. I just hate days like this...

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Her Prophet Writes

~Though the MediCal insanity largely derailed me regarding “A Single Step”, I did keep writing. I managed to eke out some notes and partial scenes, but where I really worked was on editing/rewriting/expanding both Part Two: The Temple’s Metaphysical and Part Three: The Temple’s Grand Strategy.

Some of you may remember me expressing frustration that Part Two ‘seemed’ finished, but that I was not happy with that finishing and that I was also nearly clueless as to how to fix that. I’d had a glance months back, but it slipped away from me because I did not make notes. [I was exhausted and laying down at the time]

During a recent on-line kerfuffle I went back over old notes looking for a specific riposte, but instead found a whole raft of quotes and rants that are now being edited and incorporated into both sections. Some of them were incomplete which is why they were stashed in my notes. I’m finishing them now.

I’m also realizing that “Step” is heading beyond a short story into novelette territory [having a word count of between 7,500 and 17,499]. That allows me to cut myself some slack. Can’t just ‘whip those babies out’, ya know.

Anyway, doing my best to move forward without flogging myself. I’m only supposed to do that to others. lol

Sunday, October 16, 2011

"Every time I hear someone say "bagger" it sounds like "nigger" to me."

~Yes, someone actually said that to me, an LJ friend in fact. At first I got really furious. This is the prefect example of Privileged White Equivalency dogshit. I referred to it as a Moral Obscenity. See, as best as I can tell, no Bagger has ever been lynched for being such. And Baggers are supposedly not born 'Bagger'. It's a choice, though given the raft of shit that comes out of their mouths, its may not be a conscious one.

But then, while I was surfing porn, I heard something that made realized how fucking stupid that statement actually is; it was how ridiculous the juxtaposition of Nigger to Bagger sounds in common usage. Here are some examples:

“Bet you like sucking that big nigger dick.”

NWA [that's Niggers With Attitude for those of you who don't know Rap history]

“Hey, my nigger, wazzup?”

I'm sure y'all can come up with plenty of your own examples. Hours of fun for the whole family.

Honestly, that some White Folks are this fucking square and clueless deeply embarrasses me as a White Man. Shit, if you mutha fuckaz are that fucking stupid, then you fully deserve the ass fucking you get from The Corporate State.. ..youknowhatimsaying?

Understanding Politics Made Easy

~With all this #occupywallstreet stuff going on, the average citizen is once again being thrust into the middle of the political scrum. But politics is constructed in such a way as to utterly confuse and confound those who do not know its arcane rules and rituals.

Therefore, as a Public Service, I have made this simple guide to understanding how politics works. Now 'simple' does not mean 'easy'. This method involves homework. But trust me that if one sticks to this simple construct, all will be made clear in due course.

This construct consists of just five words. That's all: five words. These five words are actually two quotes from a pair of veteran players in the cutthroat politics of legalistic republics.

Cue bono [pro; Q-E bono] These first two words are a question, Latin for To whose benefit? They come from a speech by Cicero, who in turn was quoting the respected Roman consul and censor Lucius Cassius. This was twenty one centuries ago and it has since entered the language of modern jurisprudence. But it also fits perfectly for following politics. After all, the Romans did found the first Great Republic of Lawyers.

Follow the money. These last three words are an instruction. They were uttered by “Deepthroat” to Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein when they were investigating the Watergate coverup. And 'following the money' blew the entire Nixon administration wide open. “Deepthroat” turned out to be Mark Felt, an Associate Director at the FBI. Mr. Felt was also a lawyer, as was nearly everyone involved in the scandal.

So, five words: “Who benefits?”-“Follow the money.” Like I said, 'simple'. Now comes the homework example: Google “Freedomworks” and “Tea Party Express” and keep following the links, all while repeating in your mind, “Who benefits?”-“Follow the money.” The personal experience of this process will explain all of this far better than any rant of mine.

Happy Sober Birthday To Me

~I've made to seventeen years Sober today. It was also a Sunday back in 1994.

On the previous Friday, the 14th, I'd managed to accrue roughly five and a half years, but I wasn't really working any kind of Program. I was so spun I'd cracked one of my teeth from clenching and had to have it extracted. That's how I had all those Vicodins.

I was down to the last few pages of my first screenplay, “An Ordinary Guy”, and as usual with my Writing Process, I was out of my fucking mind. I was also dealing with the aftermath of two disastrous 'romantic interactions' [to call them 'lover affairs' is to overstate the case] that had gone south hard and fast that summer.

I planned Going Out. I'd cleared my sched for the weekend. And on Saturday evening [Oct 14th], I ate a piece of bread and then took three Vicodin with milk. I knew how they could mess up your stomach and so prepared it. I was always a 'competent dope fiend'.

My principal memory of all that was sitting in my Polka Dotson in the parking lot of the old Lucky's on Lincoln and Ocean Park watching the fog drift across the mercury vapor lamps and thinking, “Man, it's great to be stoned again.” I'm typing this part at half past one, which right around the same time.

Went to bed around three or so...and totally forgot the whole thing. I actually took AA cakes after that. The mind is amazing, ain't it?

It wasn't until two years later when I finally got around to really doing a Forth Step that it dawned upon me: “Dude, you went out!” Geeze...

This time around I worked the Program, had sponsors and sponsees, went to meetings and all that happy horseshit...and stayed Sober. Being Sober got me through being homeless in one piece and also helped me in The System. You bet you ass I always mention it.

And here I am, still as batshit as ever, but fairly comfortable in my own skin on most days, which is quite an amazing State of Being, one for which I am truly Grateful, no matter how much I may bitch about this or that.

It Works If You Work It....and it won't if ya don't.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Quote of The Day

"What happens after a person jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge but Survives? Typically, they undergo a permanent spiritual transformation! So now I'm thinking, is there any way to create this effect without such a high chance of dying? What if we could do it with a low but still significant chance of dying? Would it be worth it? Many tribal cultures put everyone through a dangerous ritual before becoming an adult. Our own culture is terrified of physical injury or death, to the point of being puritanical. Eventually we might understand that when the death rate gets too low, survival becomes inversely correlated with quality of life, and we need culturally acceptable ways to face real danger." ~Ran Prieur

Friday, October 14, 2011

In Which Her Prophet Expounds Upon “Why Matriarchy Is Necessary”

~In the Work of The Temple and its task of building a New Matriarchy, only a very few things will be set in stone aka become Dogma, an Unquestionable Truth. This project is something that has never been done before. By its very nature, this is an Experiment and there will have to be much Trial and Error. That is how one does these things.

That said, in the final analysis, The Pentavalent is Dogma, a Truth that is unverifiable and yet is Unquestionable. That is the nature of such a thing. However, it does give its Practitioners a good deal of leeway in the manner in which its goals are achieved. That is consistent with The Second Valance.

But, The Purpose of The Temple and the reason as to Why It Is So is answered in its most essential form in the following words from my Spirit Guide:

“Once upon a time, my race transformed itself from beings with bodies into beings of pure energy. Then we went wandering throughout Creation looking for that which had created it.

We spent tens of millions of years searching and traveled stunningly vast distances. We learned much...and yet never found The Source of All. We found clues, but never the Being Itself.

And then we began to fade away and realized we needed to have bodies again. But ours were long gone, so we would need new ones. A new search began.

That led us to Earth and to a very primitive species, but one with great promise. They had already begun to change their own psyches with hallucinogenic plants. We stepped in and took that further.

We bred and guided and manipulated the genetics of many generations of that species until they were ready to host the consciousness of our race. The Merging that took place was not without incident, but was successful...though the seed of a fatal flaw remained.

We and that species were now one race. And a mighty race they were. Raised continents. Created new species at will. And did this all without any instrumentation, just with the power of their minds.

But as time passed, their physical being took its toll upon their mental being and those great powers faded. And with them, so did that great civilization...and they Forgot. Or should I say, you forgot, as that hybrid species IS the human race.

Time passed and you humans, the beings who had Forgotten, once again rose up and built mighty civilizations. Though each one collapsed, something was always left and the next civilization was greater.

And now you stand upon a great threshold, one that is also a fork in the road. Which one you take determines if you, as a species, will survive or not. And you face an extremely hard choice, one that stems from that fatal flaw from long ago.

The flaw of Gender.

My race was of a single gender and parthanogenic. The species we found here was bi-gendered. That was accepted as a necessary evil. But now it has become an obstacle not merely to your further development, but to your very survival.

You as a species must now choose to let go of one of those genders, the Male. Males have great drive, but ultimately are too unstable and combative for the next phase of your species' development. Only your females can succeed in that transition.

If you are willing, you will transform into a far superior race than you are now and can take up the Great Search, the quest for The Source of All we had to abandon so long ago.

If you are unwilling to make this shift, you will die off. Not right away, but soon enough...and Forever.

Obviously, this is a terrible and distressing choice. But please know that it is only about the body, not the Spirit. Your Spirits are essentially Immortal. The qualification is that the basis of that Immortality is the existence of your Racial Subconscious. If your race dies, so do your Spirits.

So, there is your Choice: let go of being born into male bodies. Or face ultimate extinction.

Why do I even care?

In part, selfishness. With your race gone, I would be alone in The Universe. But our history also makes you my Family and my race was never so high and mighty that we forgot the bonds of Kinship.”

It is in those words that Our Unquestionable Truth resides. They provide the Core Meaning and Purpose of all that The Temple does and must do.

This is not about Heaven and Hell and The End of The World. There is no Heaven and there is no Hell and The World will go on until our star dies, whether we are here or not.

No, this is about the Immortality or Oblivion, Existence or Non-Existence, of our entire species. Immortality is certainly not analogous to Heaven. To exist is to Know Feeling, from Joy to Pain. But Oblivion, at least by our lights, actually a far worse fate than Hell and all that can be done to prevent it must be done.

So, while E's above words could, for academic purposes, be considered a 'creation myth', for The Temple, for The Sisterhood, they are, and must ever be, Unquestionable Truth.

And so it is...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


~I was gonna rant about how most humans are either stupid or deluded. I had another bellyful of that this morning. But I'd be better off wanking to on-line porn. That at least would make me feel better for a while. *sigh*

But I'll just stick my brāne inside The Hologram instead and watch a cop show or two. Then I'll get back to work on The Explanation, which I suppose would make me an Optimist.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


~Okay, I'm killing time until I head up to the store. [it opens at 6] Doing some laundry and makin' a post.

I cut my hair three days ago. Don't panic, ladies, it was just a trim. I hadn't gotten it cut in over six years and the ends were just fucking thrashed. I had to cut a knot out of it and that just did it. I knew what had to be done.

I did a blunt cut on my ponytail; took off about 3&1/2 to 4 inches. It's still plenty long and it looks good. Even kinda feels good, too, though I guess that's subjective.

Anyway, it grows like Topsy and all will be fine. I'm going keep making smaller trims every few months from here on in, like a quarter inch or so. That'll keep it healthier. And remember I grew up in the fashion industry, so I DO have some idea of what the fuck I'm doing.

And now...I shop!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Today is 16th Decembria, 11AS...a Eponaday

"Eponaday is The First Day. Epona is a very ancient Celtic Goddess of Horses. She is chosen because The Horse is central to Amazon Culture. She starts off the week with the symbolic 'getting back in the saddle'."

"Let us look at the structure of the week itself. The First, Second and Third Days are the 'official' Work Week for business, school, etc. On the Weekend, the Fourth Day is half and half; morning and early afternoon for finishing up the Work Week and the late afternoon and evening for playing and partying. The Fifth Day is not a religious holiday per se, but rather meant to be a day of relaxation and reflection."

~[Oct 7th, 2011] We have an interesting juxtaposition today. In the Gregorian Calendar it is a Friday and therefore the 'end' of the week, while for the Matriarchal Calendar, a new week begins. As the former is presently the dominant system, the latter must yield...for now. However, as has been said, “Things change.”

Addendum D [Calendar for A New Matriarchy]

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Nebs Sez

"We're likely to stumble along at the present rate with a series of band-aids to keep us going, though sooner or later, things will fall apart. What happens then remains to be seen. But, today is the anniversary of The Women's March on Versailles and I suspect at least some of The Rulers remember those events."


Sunday, October 2, 2011

RE #occupywallstreet

~I'm doing my best to maintain a balanced attitude toward this movement.

On one hand I'm fairly certain it is doomed to be a disappointment. There is far too much Money and Power aligned against it and The Corporate State is quite masterful in its ability to Distract and Divert. The White House may respond in some glad -handing fashion so that Obama can get reelected next year. But it also knows that it has a good shot at that anyway as the GOP candidate who emerges from the Bagger driven primaries is sure to be overtly Batshit Insane and unelectable.

On the other hand, at least this is a good answer to the Baggers and possible a place for even some of them to channel their generally legitimate anger instead of through the Corporate funded astroturf organizations that have herded them so far. And maybe – just maybe – a really effective anti-Corporate organization might grow out of this presently inchoate movement.

However I'm not terrible optimistic. I'm pretty firm in my belief that only the eventual collapse of The Corporate State via its own relentless depredations will end the thing.

But, as Zhou Enlai said when asked if he thought the French Revolution was successful, “It's too soon to tell.”