Her Prophet Reflects Upon Recent Events

~As ever, Sleep is The Great Cure. Done properly, it rests the Mind and the Flesh, restoring Balance and Perspective. It's largely a Chemical Process to be honest, but such does have Metaphysical Implications for beings like us.

Anyway, I'm feeling better, as is Le-Le. The house is peaceful and we're enjoying that after so many months of Chaos. Of course Chaos is a Tool of The Grift; keep everything and everyone in a state of Upset and Turmoil and all manner of bullshit can be slipped past unnoticed.

I said to a mutual friend of Tyger's, “She did however really blow it this time. She had a sweet gig here, lots of latitude. We are slowly building an organization and we had talked a lot about using her 'skill sets' to further that. She had a future with us.

But she's still thinking like a junkie and now that door is closed forever. I also suspect she'll put a few more nails in that by dissing us to excuse her behavior. Those 'cleaning house' noises are just the opening notes of that tune.”

Said 'dissing' will likely be about my 'moodiness', Le-Le's 'depression' and the messy state of this house. All true on the face of it. My reply however is, “It's not Skid Row”, which was pretty much her only other option, at least according to her. [at this point, I have to regard everything I cannot directly confirm myself as a lie]

But the principal side effect of all that Chaos is that it made it impossible for me to write. I was willing to live with that for a while in order to help someone who proclaimed themselves a Sister, but as those who follow me know, it took a terrible toll. Money can be replaced, but I also lost nearly half a year of Time, which cannot be replaced. That is her primary crime towards me.

I shall not whine about however. What is done is done and now we start to look at the Lessons that come with this.

First place I look is regarding Recruitment into The Temple.

Tina was an emotional disaster. She too stole Time from me, but that stemmed from her own emotional confusion and from her unwillingness to fess up to said confusion. With proper contrition, she could return if she so desired.

Tyger on the other hand consciously weaved an elaborate web of lies with the overt intent to steal from The Temple. As previously stated, she is declared Pariah and cast into the Outer Darkness. She said she believes she will be dead within a decade. We here Invoke that as Truth.

And that brings me to the present list of potential Sisters, which I can reasonable count on one hand. I consciously said 'reasonable', not 'realistic' because I really do not expect any of you to show up any time soon, if ever.

While those of you on that small list [I'll tell you privately if you're on it] may see the potential of The Temple and its goals, at this point all of you are too deeply enmeshed with your own lives, both emotionally and financially, to make the leap required to become part of this. I say this only as a minor rebuke, as I do have some understanding of the courage needed to make said leap, the Courage of Faith, though I suppose saying you lack such is a rather severe rebuke when framed in that fashion.

But that is one Lesson I take away from these events...so far. As ever, More Shall Be Revealed.

Meantime, we recoup and I suspect I shall soon be able to once again properly Face The Page and finally finish The Explanation. Goddess willing, maybe that will give some of you the aforementioned Courage of Faith to come and truly become part of 'this thing of ours'. It's 'yours' too, but you have to claim it.

And so it is....

Betrayal

~As with most Cons, this has all manner of detail and complexity. But short version, Tyger, who'd been staying with us for the last three months, bailed on Friday owing us roughly five hundred bucks 'out of pocket'. [apx $100 loaned plus cumulative utility bills]

We know for sure it was a scam as she weaved this whole complex lie about borrowing money from a friend to start reimbursing us. When I checked with said friend, they had never even talked with Tyger about any such thing.

And it was a week to the day that we said 'time to start catching up cash wise' that she slipped out, while we slept no less.

There are many many more details, all the myriad games, lies and excuses that come with a Con, but we're just chilling right now and the whole thing is tiring. More later I expect, from Le-Le as well, Lessons to be un-packed and so on....

However, in this Tyger Warren-Wilson has betrayed The Temple, as she was taken under this roof via the auspices of The Sisterhood and violated that trust. Therefore she is declared Pariah. That may mean little now, but it will in the long run. And so it is....

Random

~This is one of those days when I feel that I'd be better off if I actually was the deranged psychopathic monster that I've been accused of being. Granted, in that case there would be a minimum of two dismembered corpses buried out in the local desert 'with my name on them', but at least our bank account would be fatter.

Today is The Kalends of Secondia 12AS

The Kalends what we call the 1st of each month. It is always a Eponaday, always a First Day, always a Beginning.

On this day we Invoke Secondia, Goddess of The Second Month of The Year, and ask Her to Guide us and Protect us through all of Her Thirty Days. Blessed Be...


"The concept behind making each month a Goddess in Her own right comes from something E says in Part Two “The Temple's Metaphysics”: "By focusing individual or collective Will upon a specific Aspect of The Creatrix, meaning a specifically Named Goddess – such as Astarte, Kali, or, Bride – a Tulpa may be invoked out of The Creatrix, a part of Her that can be understood and related to, and therefor directed."

The idea here being to Invoke each Monthly Goddess at the beginning of of Her Thirty Days, asking for Her Guidance and Protection during Her Time. To facilitate this, we are reintroducing another Roman convention, The Kalend, Latin for 'announcing' or 'calling' and the basis for the word Calendar, as the first day of each month. Upon the arrival of The Kalend we are reminded to make the above Invocation.

These are new Goddesses and as yet Un-Manifested. Therefore, now as I write these words upon this page, I Invoke them and call then into Being.

By reading their Names, you my Sisters, also Invoke them. And as Common Usage becomes Established Tradition, the Nature and Traits of each Goddess shall make themselves apparent and become fully Manifest. Through this process, we shall Serve them and they shall Serve us, which is ever the proper relationship between Humans and their Deities."

Addendum D [Calendar for A New Matriarchy]

Her Prophet Worries About His Mental Health

~No, it's not that I'm crazy. Not only did that horse leave the barn a long time ago, but even all the glue made from said beast has been fully affixed to whatever.

What I'm worried about is my Depression. I fear it is deeper than I want to admit. I have not been able to re-start on The Explanation. [I'm not even hyperlinking it at this point] And that leaves me without Purpose. Such does not make me suicidal, it merely puts me in a place where I am simply surviving day by day, largely indifferent to anything else. For me, that is a living death...and that is very depressing.

I have a fairly clear idea of the things that are blocking me..and there is nothing I can do about most of them right now. All I can do is Survive....

Quote of The Day

"The U.S. really is a society that simply no longer believes in due process: once the defining feature of American freedom that is now scorned as some sort of fringe, radical, academic doctrine. That is not hyperbole. Supporters of both political parties endorse, or at least tolerate, all manner of government punishment without so much as the pretense of a trial, based solely on government accusation: imprisonment for life, renditions to other countries, even assassinations of their fellow citizens. Simply uttering the word Terrorist, without proving it, is sufficient. And now here is Megaupload being completely destroyed — its website shuttered, its assets seized, ongoing business rendered impossible — based solely on the unproven accusation of Piracy." ~Glenn Greenwald Two lessons from the Megaupload seizure

Random

~Been a while since I did a 'personal post'. Been hiding out really. Sleeping, eating, watching Crime Drama, snarking a bit here and there. No real writing, just a sound bite or two. I don't really feel like writing. Certainly not on The Explanation. That's feeling like a lost cause right now. I suppose Goddess and my obsessiveness will drive me back to those particular pages at some point. But not today.

It's blustery and raining, so I'll likely go back to bed shortly. [though I'll still be the same height]

And there you have it...

Seems I Am Not The Only One....

Originally posted by morgandawn at Seems I Am Not The Only One..........who feels the need to take a break from an increasingly dysfunctional relationship.


Original image and campaign source: reddit.

Edited to add my own thoughts (not part of the original reddit call for action): And if you do not feel like taking a total break and perhaps want just a trial separation or couple's counseling, then perhaps consider Black March Lite 2.0 = spend, but spend money on those content creators and independent retailers who came out against SOPA/PIPA. And tell them why you're buying their products in March. There are many of them.

And for those who favor the more targeted boycott, you can find info here. But no matter which, you can participate and you can tailor your level of participation. We have the tools, the will and the strength to take a stand.

Text of image
Black March - Thursday March 1st 2012 to Saturday March 31st 2012
With the continuing campaigns for internet-censoring litigation such as SOPA and PIPA, and the closure of sites like Megaupload under allegations of 'piracy' and 'conspiracy' the time has come to take a stand against music, film, and media companies' lobbyists.
The only way is to hit them where it hurts.
Their profit margins.
March 2012 is the end of the First Quarter in economic reports world wide.
Do not buy a single record. Do not download a single song, legally or illegally. Do not go to see a single film in cinemas, or download a copy. Do not buy a DVD in the stores. Do not buy a videogame. Do not buy a single book or magazine.
Wait the four weeks to buy them in April: see a film later, etc... Holding out for just four weeks, maximum, will leave a gaping hole in media companies profits for the first quarter, an economic hit which will in turn be observed by governments world wide as stocks and shares will blip from a large enough loss of incomes. This action will give a statement of intent:
"We will not tolerate the Media Industries' lobbying for legislation that will censor the internet."

Nebs Sez

"The vast majority of humans, for all their various complaints about the thing, are perfectly happy with hierarchy because it lets them know where there are within the Social Order. This applies to 'outsiders', too: they know they are simply 'outside'. We're not a species that does well with being truly Free. We tend to equate it with being lost. Much like cats in that regard. Want to come and go as we please, but Goddess help you if our bowl is empty or the litter box full."

********

SOPA/PIPA Internet Boycott Day

~I've vaguely thinking about this, but today I realized that I needed to participate. For something like this I suspect I can survive a day without being on The Internet. I've got books and stuff on my desktop. At the very least, I will not post at all, except for the Matriarchal Calender [part of a larger continuous project] and that I'll do just after midnight and then 'go dark' until the next one.

I urge all of you to do the same thing. It seems like a petty effort, but its aggregate can be very big.

If you do not know what this is, read English Wikipedia anti-SOPA blackout for an explanation.

The Real Martin Luther King

"I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection." ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Letter from a Birmingham City Jail, 1963

Random

~I doubled up on the Aleve, took some generic sudafed and went back to sleep for another five hours. Feel a lot better now. Kinda 'hungover' from it all, spacey, but the lack of pain lifted the depression. *sigh of relief*

Just chilling tonight. Gotta take out the garbage, but there that ain't much.

Random

~So far this is a Bad Day. [only be awake for three quarters of an hour though] Sinus headache and Depression. [yes, cap 'D']

I will take drugs and distract myself. [just took an Aleve/got “Forbrydelsen” on my desktop]

This is of course about The Work and the massive amount of evidence indicating most hoomons are fucking stoopeed that is presented to me every fucking day. [even the 'smart ones']

I make the requisite 'sigh'. [sigh] I've written nothing but rants and am chewing my cuticles until they bleed. [my form of cutting I suppose]

Not giving up, just bitching out loud so I don't get suicidal. [hate that cause I know I won't]

...and then I ran out of steam. [h00f]

Her Prophet Reflects Upon The Nature Of A True Man

..I wrote this last June 11th when Arness died..I repost it as a counter-point to my regular militancy regarding True Men..

~Hearing about the death of James Arness hit me surprisingly hard. I've been crying a bit on and off every since I made the post. I suppose it's more than just another piece of my youth passing. Arness was both personally and professionally a True Male in the best sense of the phrase; solid, hard working, humble yet strong. He was probably the best male role model this culture ever provided me and I expect many of my generational brothers would say the same.

You see I really don't hate men per se. We have many fine traits. We are simply creatures of a certain nature and our time is up. Keep in mind that Arness was of Norwegian descent and twelve hundred years ago those guys were busy being a somewhat different type of True Male; The Viking.

For me at least, with Arness' death a chapter in our history symbolically closes for good; the mythos of The American Frontier. The actuality of it closed long before I was even born, but it remained alive in our hearts and minds. Some still cling to it, Tea Party members being the worst contemporary example.

The Rugged Individualist is at the center of that mythos, the quiet, but determined hero [almost always male] who 'carved this Great Land out of the savage wilderness'. Of course, he was in fact usually a drunk and/or a compulsive gambler, unable to stay in any one place for long and all too often a violent sociopath, but those are the kind of men required to 'carve up a savage wilderness', as will as its previous occupants.

Matt Dillon represents a 'bridge character', a True Male who can be largely authentic within a more or less stable social order. In that Gunsmoke is also really a 'proto-copshow'. The general setting is rural, but Dillon is based 'in town' and is actually a Federal Law Enforcement Officer.

[Think of how profoundly retro Justified is in that regard. Raylan Givens is a serious throwback. That is probably why Chase failed; the cultural model could not except a female in that role, especially with an actress who really made it work.]

Her Prophet Etc

~I actually started writing this two days ago. I wrote two sentences; I am confronted by a conundrum. [“No, it's only a Challenge,” says a perky lil voice inside...I fucking hate perky lil voices], which was supposed to be the opening, and Like every other stoopeed hoomon I am plagued and distracted by mundane issues, a few notes...and then I stopped dead. The file has just sat on my desktop until now [9:55am 17th Prim/Jan 12th].

As so often happens, I was taking a shit when I started thinking about this. Well, the excretory event was done and I was just sitting there in the afterglow. I didn't really have a conversation with E so much as re-play one that I've had with Her before and that She runs at me pretty much whenever I start whining to Her about The Temple, The Sisterhood and 'how tough it all is to do this' and 'no one is helping me' and blah blah blah.

I always get annoyed with myself even as I'm bitching and moaning about it. Yeah, this IS a rough fucking gig. That's why I really didn't want it in the first place. And why I get pissed off that you fucking bitches aren't stepping up to take This Thing of Yours off my hands. And yes, I know that's unfair and self pitying and in that moment I tend not to care. I'm still an Addict and I Fucking Want It Now!

*takes deep breath*

Okay, the 're-play'. Basically it's that writing The Explanation is in fact a Massive Majickal Working and in order for it to truly Manifest, I have to fucking finish it! That is the Nature of Majickal Workings; one needs to complete them in order to then Release them into The Universe and then proceed to the Mundane Actions necessary to fully Manifest them.

In some ways remember that is a relief. “Gee, all I have to do is finish it.” In other ways, it is very frustrating. [see previous quote] I'd love to bloody well finish it. And I am ”Like every other stoopeed hoomon...plagued and distracted by mundane issues.”

I am very distracted. By physical pain. By fear of financial insecurity. By self doubt. By depression and PTSD. And so on. [Yes, I also know it is certain that some have engaged in Majickal Working in order to prevent us from creating The Sisterhood, another reason we need the Presence of the Sisters who wish to see it born]

I've been looking for the CD for the voice activated program so I can download it onto this computer, but so far no joy. One more frustration.

I would like to start working on the thing again and yet I cannot seem to focus on it. I've gotten no traction in rebooting myself.

The best I seem able to do so far is to whine about all this here in my LJ which I then repost to my various blogging platforms after which I either take a nap because I'm exhausted or watch some Crime Drama because my mind is wrung out....and The Sisterhood then recedes that much further into the future.

And I'm afraid that IS 'what is so' right now...

Texas, The Rapist State

"According to the Guttmacher Institute, 88 percent of abortions occur during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Because the fetus is so small at this stage, traditional ultrasounds performed through the abdominal wall, "jelly on the belly," often cannot produce a clear image. Therefore, a transvaginal probe is most often necessary, especially up to 10 weeks to 12 weeks of pregnancy. The probe is inserted into the vagina, sending sound waves to reflect off body structures to produce an image of the fetus. Under this new law, a woman's vagina will be penetrated without an opportunity for her to refuse due to coercion from the so-called "public servants" who passed and signed this bill into law."

"Rape by the State"? Court: Texas Can Force Doctors to Deliver Intrusive Vaginal Ultrasound to Abortion Seekers

Awake and Plotting

~Slept for another four plus hours and the was awake. Guess I'm in an Up/Down sleeping cycle again. Full Moon's probably part of that.

Frustrated that I haven't been able to write. Squeezed out bits and pieces, but that feels pretty much like it sounds; the excretory metaphor is quite apt.

Been thinking about what I call 'proto-Mandroids'. Those would be True Males converted in the 'early days', violent offenders who, instead of being locked away or executed, would be put to good use as simple laborers, most likely in agriculture. They'd be castrated, lobotomized and Brain Boxed [see Dr. Jose Delgado] and then sent to the fields. This would be an interim measure until actual Mandriods could be properly bred, though it could be used as a 'judicial solution' until True Men are extinct.

Ah, it felt good to write that. *evil laughter*

Random

~Tired. Did a WinCo run this morning. Wasn't really up to it, but it was time and it needed to be done. Knocked the crap outta me. At least the cupboards are full.

Ate and watched some Crime Drama after we got back. Slept from 3ish until around 11, but I'm back in bed soon.

Been too drained to share my thoughts, which is in itself tiring...

Random

~I'm just plain fucked up today. No ambition. No hope. No desire. Don't really want to do or be anything.

I was sitting down taking a shit and thinking I'd be perfectly happy living in one of my little dream worlds. Not writing about it, just playing in it. Like I used to when I was a kid and back when I got loaded. Just live like that until age and infirmity caught with me. Then I'd have a small party, hook myself up to a Kevorkian machine and say good night.

That's pretty much where I am today. Not depression such much as ennui. Not suicidal, just indifferent.

I thought of some lines from one of my old poems:
The world is insane
and full of fools.
It has earned
Disease,
and Famine,
and Weapons of Mass Destruction.

That was back when I had enough passion to write poetry.

Feh....

Her Prophet [Doesn't] Write

~There have been Money Issues, Housing Issues, Internet Issues and Holiday Issues [with the attendant family system dreams] all of which have impacted my State of Mind and my Health with their cumulative Stress. As best as I can tell none these Issues are of Crisis proportions, but together they've taken their toll.

I re-started work on a short Cyber Witch story three/four days back and it moved quickly. But the editing has totally bogged down and now I'm feeling disheartened regarding finishing The Explanation. My mind simply will not latch onto the thing again. Right now I'm just marking time and doing my best not to slip into a Black Dog.

I'm really not happy at all....

Random

~Three days ago my neck was really killing me. I did a little self massage, got some relief and took a nap. But when I woke up, the ache and soreness had spread. I took a hot shower and seemed to get some relief, but now I felt sick, like 'flu sick'.

This continued into the next day. More self massage. More hot showers. Even added my heating pad to the mix.

Finally, yesterday early evening, after a nine hour sleep, the 'flu-like feeling' passed. I'm still kinda sore – I hold my shit in my neck – but I no longer feel toxic. And I'll have that, thank you....

Two Thousand and Twelve Anno Domini

~Anno Domini is Latin for 'The Year of The Lord'. Some times that is said as 'Our Lord', but it functionally translates into English as 'The Lord', its possessive nature being only implied in the Latin. If one addressed someone as Dominus, 'master' or 'owner', one implicitly granted them authority over ones self. [Domina is the female case] Anno is also a Masculine word in Latin.

All this was whipped up by some wee monk in the Sixth Century to rectify the various calendric hodgepodges of the day. In retrospect, I'd say he did rather well.

Of course I bring all this up in order to point out the underlying possessiveness of this Patriarchal naming convention. By using Anno Domini, one assumes a 'slave attitude'. God owns you.

With the Matriarchal Calender's use of Anna Sororitas this is shifted even as a historical continuity is maintained. 'Anna' is obviously a Feminized case of 'Year', which I do not believe actually exists in Latin to date. 'Sororitas' means 'Of The Sisters' or 'Belonging to The Sisters'. Note that is a collective ownership, one that implicitly includes all of its members.

And though The Sisterhood worships The Goddess in all of Her Aspects, She too is a Sister and part of this, not an owner from above. There is Hierarchy and Seniority, but not ownership, at least not among Sisters. All are part of the Greater Whole, which each Sister Serves and is Served by.

And so it is...


As True Men are ultimately slated for extinction, their status will get determined on a case by case basis until they're all gone. The various types of Y-Chrome Servitors who replace them will uniformly be treated humanely, much as we presently treat beloved pets and valued service animals.