~I'd say my general State of Being would best be described as All Over The Map.
It's a little more that three weeks since The Flight of The Oath Breaker and we're healing slowly but steadily...which is as ever not fast enough for me. I want to be Totally Fucking Fine Right Now! and I make myself kinda crazy with that on a regular basis. It's that fucking Patience Lesson that still dogs me.
My writing is roiling just below the surface and yet I'm still not able to muster the...'whatever' to effectively Face The Page. I put various Explanation work files back on my desktop, but so far nothing has popped. It seems I'm much happier playing in The Imperium. That's what lulls me to sleep. I do make notational files on that thing at least, stashing them in the larger working files folder when I finish poodling around with them.
My Higher Self knows that all this will take time. But my 'less higher selves' look around at the unfolding horror of the human condition and despairs...and then castigates 'us' for being so fucking arrogant as to think 'we' could ever have even the minutest effect upon any of it.
I also realize I need to weep some more for a number of reasons I really don't feel like elaborating. I just do. And that tap seems mostly stuck as well. Certain bits of fictional drama manage to wring a few tears out from time to time.
There is a short list of legal tasks that we need to undertake, too...*sigh*
No, I need to just chill for now....