"The Awakened Being needs Purpose. But the contemporary Social Order has become structured in a way that eschews Purpose and works relentlessly to fit each of us into a little box. Most submit to that as their Fear causes them to seek Comfort rather than Purpose.
You are Awake and seeking greater Awareness. You have also found a Purpose, the building of a New Matriarchy.
And you have old habits that will distract you from that Greater Goal. Not to worry, that is common to the human condition. Even a Great and Glorious Guru such as myself still has days when he finds his head deeply embedded in his ass.
All this is a Process, not an Event. Just keep at The Work and you'll be fine in the long run. That may frustrate you, but look at it this way; you'll always have something to do. =)
Your Great and Glorious Guru xoxox"