Random

~I'm something of an emotional mess. I lay down but ran out of sleep before I felt rested. Right after I got up Le-Le told me that Terror Cat likes to get brushed...and I started crying.

I didn't know why for a few minutes. What came to me is that because of my Survival Fear about Money – an old family trait – I was having difficulty taking pleasure in our rescue of this little guy.

We've likely doubled his life expectancy and certainly made that life a better thing from now on. That he's showing signs that he's gonna soak that up....well, I should be able to simply bask in the pure happiness of that. And yet I'm twitching with anxiety.

This is where the damage of my past robs the joy of my present and right now all I can do is weep over that.....