Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Her Prophet Reflects
Yes, it made me sad, especially the comments about women who are getting 'dumped out' of the workforce. Such adds to my sense of urgency regarding The Temple. A major part of our work is about creating a livelihood for our Sisters and other 'women in need'. I do torment myself about that 'every other day' as I said to one Sister just this morning.
And at the same time I need to own my Gratitude for my life at this moment. It is better than it has ever been; a safe and comfortable place to live, a steady income that provides what I need, the love and companionship of two wonderful women, and, most of all, a True and Noble Purpose, which is I honestly believe what all of the proceeding issues from.
My life had been full of pain and difficulty, but such has prepared me for the harsh times now upon us. I do my best to stay focused and not allow my impatience to distract me – and fail all too often.
That Sister I was IMing with this morning, she is a Goddess worshiping Witch in Istanbul, a tough life at the very least. We have known each other for close to two years. We were talking of 'things happening in The Goddess Good Time' and how that can summon moments of Madness and yet teach Wisdom and Patience. She told me how she is now 'more connected to Goddess' for her having to wait until we can bring her and her daughter here to The High Desert.
It is you, my Sisters, who give me my strength to keep going. And Goddess keeps bring you to my door, so I must have Faith and persevere.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Facing The Page
~I've posted this unfinished piece called “Alliance” over on E Speaks. It's the one that I've been going fucking batshit over for two months now, more batshit than I usually am and that's pretty fucking batshit, ya know.
There are two other unfinished pieces that are also tormenting me, but “Alliance” is the one that's really fucking with my head. The concept sat for nearly half a year, a collection of hand written notes. Then, in the beginning of August, it suddenly burst out of me onto the page and seemed to be racing toward the finish line.
But then I had a bunch of IRL stuff come up that needed my attention and the thing stopped dead. What is presently posted on E Speaks is all that made it to the page. And I cannot seem to get going again.
It's driving me fucking nuts. This thing – and the other two – are like fucking ghosts. They whisper tantalizing details from a dark corner or just behind me, but when look right at them, the vanish.
I suppose writing about one's future self in the third person would make anyone crazy. And, to complicate matters, materiel for The Imperium has been pouring out of my head like Niagara Falls...and you know where that leads. lol
Friday, September 24, 2010
Nebs Sez
Within such a 'naturalist' paradigm as you start out with, a fetus is merely a parasite The Female can dispose of at her choice. Or even kill after its birth. Mothers of many species even eat their young if food is scarce.
And within the context of Evolutionary Psycho-Biology as outlined by you, there is no 'morality'. That's just a 'theological coat of paint' you slap on once you started talking about The Female, which is classic Male Privilege doublespeak; “We are meant to brutes by Nature, that makes us Men, but Women must always Submit and be Moral and think of The Greater Good.”
Therefore in my model of the world, the first two thirds of this lil essay makes a pretty good evolutionary case of the outbreeding of The Male and the last third psycho-culturally confirms it. My Feminist thinking is mighty radical too, mano."
~My latest comment upon Gonzalo Lira's Rape, Abortion, and Reproductive Violence post.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Quote of The Day
Jill Johnston, Critic Who Wrote ‘Lesbian Nation,’ Dies at 81
September 21, 2010
By WILLIAM GRIMES
Jill Johnston in 1985.
Jill Johnston, a longtime cultural critic for The Village Voice whose daring, experimental prose style mirrored the avant-garde art she covered and whose book “Lesbian Nation: The Feminist Solution” spearheaded the lesbian separatist movement of the early 1970s, died in Hartford on Saturday. She was 81 and lived in Sharon, Conn.
The cause was a stroke, her spouse, Ingrid Nyeboe, said.
Ms. Johnston started out as a dance critic, but in the pages of The Voice, which hired her in 1959, she embraced the avant-garde as a whole, including happenings and multimedia events.
“I had a forum obviously set up for covering or perpetrating all manner of outrage,” she wrote in a biographical statement on her Web site, jilljohnston.com.
In the early 1970s she began championing the cause of lesbian feminism, arguing in “Lesbian Nation” (1973) for a complete break with men and with male-dominated capitalist institutions. She defined female relations with the opposite sex as a form of collaboration.
“Once I understood the feminist doctrines, a lesbian separatist position seemed the commonsensical position, especially since, conveniently, I was an L-person,” she told The Gay and Lesbian Review in 2006. “Women wanted to remove their support from men, the ‘enemy’ in a movement for reform, power and self-determination.”
At a debate on feminism at Town Hall in Manhattan in 1971, with Germaine Greer, Diana Trilling and Jacqueline Ceballos of the National Organization for Women sharing the platform with Norman Mailer, the moderator, and with a good number of the New York intelligentsia in attendance, she caused one of the great scandals of the period. [Nebs: Which in retrospect seems awfully tame.]
After reciting a feminist-lesbian poetic manifesto and announcing that “all women are lesbians except those that don’t know it yet,” Ms. Johnston was joined onstage by two women. The three, all friends, began kissing and hugging ardently, upright at first but soon rolling on the floor.
Mailer, appalled, begged the women to stop. “Come on, Jill, be a lady,” he sputtered.
The filmmakers Chris Hegedus and D. A. Pennebaker captured the event in the documentary “Town Bloody Hall,” released in 1979. Mary V. Dearborn, in her biography of Mailer, called the evening “surely one of the most singular intellectual events of the time, and a landmark in the emergence of feminism as a major force.”
Ms. Johnston continued to write on the arts but took a strong political line with a marked psychoanalytic slant evident in “Jasper Johns: Privileged Information” (1996), which explored the artist’s works as a series of evasions and subterfuges rooted in conflict about his homosexuality, and in the two volumes of her memoirs: “Mother Bound” (1983) and “Paper Daughter” (1985), both of them subtitled “Autobiography in Search of a Father.”
Jill Johnston was born on May 17, 1929, in London and taken to the United States as an infant by her mother, Olive Crowe, after her father abandoned them both. She was reared by a grandmother in Little Neck, on Long Island.
Throughout her childhood she believed that her parents had divorced, but in 1950, when The New York Times ran a short obituary about her father, an English bell maker named Cyril F. Johnston, she learned the truth.
Her mother informed her that she and Johnston had never married. A lifelong fascination with this absent figure, whose company, Gillett & Johnston, supplied bells and carillons to churches and cathedrals all over the world, motivated her to write “England’s Child: The Carillon and the Casting of Big Bells” (2008), a biography of her father and a history of bell making.
After earning a bachelor’s degree from Tufts in 1951 and studying dance at the University of North Carolina, Greensboro, she began writing for The Dance Observer. She was soon hired by the fledgling Voice to write the weekly column Dance Journal, which ran until the mid-1970s.
The revolutionary currents of the time found expression in her increasingly wayward Voice column, which soon took in all aspects of the counterculture and by the late 1960s had become a freewheeling series of dispatches about her adventures in the arts and on the road.
“Now I was a chronicler of my own life, by 60s standards perhaps not too egregiously adventurous and experimental, but in a newspaper in full public view, in the most fractured Dada style of work I had admired as a critic — a rather wild spectacle in those woolly times,” she wrote on her Web site.
She developed a singular prose style — what the writer Pattrice Jones, writing in the Web magazine LesbiaNation.com [defunct] in 1999, called “part Gertrude Stein, part E.E. Cummings, with a dash of Jack Kerouac thrown for good measure.”
One 1964 column began: “Fluxus flapdoodle. Fluxus concert 1964. Donald Duck meets the Flying Tigers. Why should anyone notice the shape of a watch at the moment of looking at the time?”
Ms. Johnston would soon shed this style and her amorphous politics, which she described in “Lesbian Nation” as her “east west flower child beat hip psychedelic paradise now love peace do your own thing approach to the revolution.”
In 1969, members of the Gay Liberation Front, correctly intuiting that the unidentified companion on her weekly adventures, chronicled in The Voice, was a woman, invited her to a meeting. Her political conversion began, and “Lesbian Nation” was published in 1973.
Her marriage to Richard Lanham in 1958 ended in divorce six years later. Besides her spouse, Ms. Nyeboe, whom she married in Denmark in 1993 and in Connecticut last year, she is survived by her two children, Richard Lanham and Winifred Lanham, and four grandchildren.
Since the 1980s Ms. Johnston often wrote for Art in America and The New York Times Book Review. She also wrote other books, including “At Sea on Land: Extreme Politics” (2005).
Although she later said that she regarded “Lesbian Nation” as “a period piece,” Ms. Johnston held fast to her version of feminism and reaffirmed it in “Admission Accomplished”(1998): “The centrality of the lesbian position to feminist revolution — wildly unrealistic or downright mad, as it still seems to most women everywhere — continues to ring true and right.”
Note: This reminded of something I posted last year: http://community.livejournal.com/e_speaks/47943.html
Monday, September 20, 2010
Quote of The Day
“Great republics do not last. Vast wealth and power corrupt. It incites dangerous ambitions and will bring the republic down. It will run down the Congress and crush the people’s voice. This has been a strange panic. It’s like a blight, a paralysis, in which a mighty machine has slipped its belt, and is still running and accomplishing nothing. A creepy and awful stillness has given us an atmosphere of apprehension. The phrase ‘lay-off’ has become common. The laying off of two and three thousand men has has become familiar. But there’s a far greater and disastrous laying off all over this land – the discharging of one out of three employees in all the humble and small shops and industries across America. A blight has fallen upon us. And the monarchy of the rich and the powerful is author of it.” ~Mark Twain
Sunday, September 19, 2010
In Which Her Prophet Cogitates Upon The Deeper Motivations Of Two Doomers
What we actually face is a 'systems management crisis' with two major components. A: over population and B: operating within a closed resource system aka Planet Earth. In simple terms, too many people and not enough resources where said people happen to live.
Which brings me to my mantra, “Population Down/ Industry Up”, the latter being shorthand for 'all heavy industry off world'. That paradigm is really our only path to survival as a species. [Whether such is warranted is the subject of another discussion.]
What I am addressing here are The Doomers, who reject any such notions of the above nature with both contempt and vehemence. They are not End Timers in the classic sense, like The Rapturites and The Twenty Twelvers. Those types want Death and The End of The World. Their motivations are much like the Addict and the Alcoholic; they 'want the pain to end' and do not care who suffers in the process.
Doomers on the other hand are essentially people who just want Modern Technological Civilization to end. Generally speaking, their high profile spokespersons are educated white males [So what else is new?] who have never been able to truly adapt to Modern Technological Civilization. In that, I am much like them, being an educated white male and seeing that significant portions of said civilization are insane and destructive.
Where I part ways with them is that I do not blame the technologies created by civilization for its basic ills, but rather place responsibility upon its fundamental psycho-social underpinnings, which are grounded in Masculine Egotism aka Patriarchy.
Let me state clearly that I do not believe Masculine Egotism to be inherently evil, though it can certainly manifest in that fashion. It is simply an expression of male psycho-biology and has actually been key to creation of this civilization, the irrepressible male drive to Become. And, like certain childhood behaviors which served us well as children, now that we are passing through our species adolescence with its increasing capacity for large scale destruction, that behavior not only no longer serves, but could be the death of us all.
But most Doomers are steeped in Masculine Egotism. Jim Kunstler and John Michael Greer, two of the most important Doomers, both advocate a return to a semi-medieval social order that would make men essential once again. And as such reveal fully from where their unabashed hatred of Modern Technological Civilization truly originates. Such a civilization has no real need of males; it would actually be better off without them.
We must grant that contemplating ones own extinction, even on such an esoteric level as the last sentence, is an uncomfortable thing. But true wisdom means taking ones own ego out of the equation. In my own experience and observations, that is where most humans, of either gender, fail at achieving such an outcome and withdraw to back to 'safe' territory.
We humans tend to operate within an envelope of emotional safety, often in contradiction to our own intellectual observations. If something makes us genuinely uncomfortable, we rationalize our way around it, through, or over it. That process can range from blowing off simple life style change like giving up a favorite food that is bad for us [”Eh, what could it hurt?”] all the way to the ideological justification of active genocide [”The Jews are responsible for my failure as an artist.”].
I personally understand that, being a diabetic who loves cake and a writer whose substance abuse damaged his art much more than his insane family, though Goddess knows they tried their damnedest. The latter was particularly tough to swallow. We love to 'blame someone else' for our shortcomings, especially when they are those who rejected us when we sought their acceptance. 'If only' is so often spoken.
Very recently James Kunstler noted that he had voted for Barack Obama and was now 'disappointed'. This is a clear example of operating from within the aforementioned 'envelope of emotional safety'. Though Jimmy has written and spoken extensively upon his firm belief that the paradigm of 'peak resources' – specifically oil – is going to take Modern Technological Civilization over the brink of catastrophe, when push comes to shove, he tried to vote his way out of that.
For all his tough talk, Jimmy is still a bourgeois urban intellectual at his core and I personally don't think he has the stuff to really face the world he claims is nigh.
I call him 'Jimmy' because that is how I knew him as an assistant camp councilor nearly half a century ago. He was a pudgy adolescent [about fifteen I'd say], sensitive, Jewish and intellectually precocious, which back then was read as 'fag'. [still is in many places] Even though I was not even eleven, I could see how much he wanted to be accepted by the older councilors, men in their early to mid twenties, masculine, athletic, Gentile.
America was still a Golden Nation, prosperous, confident – though the Cuban Missile Crisis had scared us – and in the last summer of JFK's Camelot. Those older councilors were very much what I call True Men. That some of them were alcoholic brutes and degenerates was not so apparent, though I later discovered that quite intimately.
That last summer I had already entered puberty and, while I too had been pudgy, sensitive and intellectually precocious, for whatever reasons, I was far more cynical than Jimmy seemed to be. By then I knew that Violence was an essential component of Masculinity. I suspect that while Jimmy has discovered that by now, he has never truly accepted that in his heart.
And so, somewhere inside, he still tries to earn the respect of those long dead True Men of his youth by advocating a world were they would once again be essential. I consider his work a series of 'love letters' to them, albeit cloaked in genuinely legitimate concerns, many of which I also share.
But while Kunstler may be a 'romantic' Doomer, Greer has turned out to be an Evil one.
For quite a while I though of Greer as being the more reasonable of the two. Kunstler's words are scathing and razor edged. His contempt springs off of the page like a rabid dog. Greer, on the other hand, though obviously sharing Kunstler's feelings and opinions, speaks in far more measured tones, almost Olympian in their detachment.
But then he crossed a line. I do not think anyone else noticed, but it struck me in the face like a blow.
In his June 9th, 2010 post, Waiting for the Millen- nium/Part One: Peak Oil Goes Mainstream, he speaks with great insight and eloquence about 'cultural myths' – read 'envelopes of emotional safety' – and how a number of them are specific to Modern Technological Civilization. But I had noticed a trend to disparage what he called 'revitalization movements' and to do so with a hint of desperation.
'Revitalization movement' is the label he applies to any and all types of solutions that could possible prevent the socio-economic collapse that both he and Kunstler firmly insist is coming, no matter what. But then he crossed that line.
Now, for those who are not metaphysically inclined, what he did may seem silly, but that is not the point. Greer is an Archdruid after all and a serious believer in the meta- physically, so what he advocated was, in his model of the world, quite real.
I quote him here:
“For the moment, though, I want to pass on the counter -spell against incantatory thinking that I mentioned at the conclusion of last week’s post. Like the magic spells in fairy tales, it comes with a taboo that limits what you can do with it. The taboo is this: you can use it to guard yourself from incantations, if you think about it and understand it, and you can pass it on to someone else who’s ready to receive and understand it. If you give it to someone who’s not willing to accept it, though, it will cause exactly the flight into incantation and fantasy it’s meant to prevent. Here it is:
Keep it secret; keep it safe.”
That is a fucking Evil Meme at the very least and pure Black Majick at the very worst. In his need to bring about his Desired Outcome, he has Invoked Darkness and Disaster and all the Death and Pain that would surely follow. But this is the essence of Masculine Egotism. The Male must be right even at the cost of bringing down endless and unimaginable suffering upon the lives of billions. Nothing must be allowed to disrupt his little ego maniac empire.
I can see the path that led him there, and that is largely 'paved with good intentions', and how such transformed him into a vest pocket version of Sauron. I can see it because it is a course that I worry about taking myself. Power is the most sublime addiction and Greer has obviously succumbed to it, though the taste he has gotten is actually still quite small. But already his Masculine Egot drinks deeply of its well.
And it is Masculine Egotism, not Modern Technology, that our species must eschew if we hope to survive. The semi-medieval societies these males and their kind seek to establish is as much an evolutionary dead end as any Father/God theocracy. And would be just as brutal and mean-spirited...
And so I Swear by The Ten Thousand Names of The Goddess that I will do all in my power to prevent either of those from manifesting.
Now let me propose a 'counterspell' for the Archdruid's monstrous Invocation, one uttered by a far better man than I:
Blessed Be.....
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Nebs Sez [from a week old unfinished 'anger/depression' rant which I have since abandoned]
“In the present Social Order most of you are replaceable meat machines with no purpose beyond your utility to the Ruling Classes...which has essentially been the basic human condition since the advent of 'civilized' society and the only way that will ever change is when the Working Classes are themselves replaced.”
Friday, September 17, 2010
Past Events Upon This Day
L'Hotel De Enfer Ne' Plus Ultra
{which basically translates as "Hotel Hell To The Max"}
Sep. 18th, 2003 at 6:47 PM
~Well, I am now homeless. Last night, after EP {Note 9/17/10: El Padrasto=The Stepfather in Spanish} had been screaming at people all day, he picked a fight with me. I didn't buy in, but he ranted anyway. Then my mother started in, first by telling me she's canceling Tanya, the compugal, and that I should 'get a job'. Then she physically attacked me, scratching, punching, throwing bottles and pulling my hair. I pushed her away and she fell [she was drunk as usual] , but she came at me again.
At this EP came into the kitchen [where all this was happening] and she said I tried to choke her and he then tried to stab me with a pair of scissors. Now, of course, I could have beat them both unconscious, but that would have only dug my grave completely. So I dial 911. And the fucking cops arrested me!
I spent the night in jail in Beverly Hills and today I was charged with "Dependent Abuse", a misdemeanor, with a court appearance in two weeks. And I now have a restraining order saying that I cannot go within 50 yards of the house or call.
I am totally fucked now. I have a pair of jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt. everything else is at the house, ID, clothes, vitamins, scripts. I am at my friend Jeremy's house right now. He is letting me spend the night and tomorrow I will start working my Monday AA phone list for..well, everything. ::sigh::
Sep. 17th, 2004 at 1:23 PM
...a year has passed..I swam nine laps that day..lay naked under the sun..I had talked with Amy earlier.. she babbled her usual bullshit about white men..as if the white ones were any worse..we merely have more power..ultimately it was an red man who knocked her up and bailed..'dumb bitch'*..talked with Nancy after swimming..she could hear EP screaming in the background..and that was a good four hours before he started in with me..::sigh::..I'm calmer today..The Barracks have been quiet and the sky overcast..I've been remembering the conversation with E in the pool that day..I was peaceful all day..I suppose somewhere I know that my freedom was coming...and that I was being prepared for the storm that would precede it...{*was still very bitter about her}
..'I have been to the top of the mountain'..
Sep. 17th, 2005 at 8:35 PM
..8:12pm/'in casa'..
~Just around this time two years ago [it was a Wed], the shit was bubbling at Hotel Hell. Over the course of the next few hours there would be screaming, threats, violence, the police, handcuffs, lying, all culminating in my arrest.
~This afternoon I took Leesa to the airport and cried on and off all the way back..home.
~So today was a Good Day, for all its pain and echoes of pain.
~After shopping, I pulled onto Sixth Street hoping for a parking space not too far from my front door. And there, directly underneath my window, was an empty space with nineteen minutes left on the meter and a Vons shopping cart abandoned right next to it.
~I was so ecstatic, I accosted this blond who just happened to be walking by. "Excuse me, but I have to share this experience with somebody, etc etc." We both laughed.
~Certainly, a Good Sign. And just in case I get too cocky, when I went to the library to get quarters for laundry, this local loony who really gets on my nerves blathered at me..and I didn't care.
I ate, washed my hair, posted a bit [ahh, 24/7 Internet], and went to take a nap. L called at that moment from Mini/St Paul. [two hour layover..blah]
~We chatted a bit, but I really needed to sleep. [we'll talk when she gets home] And I cried myself to sleep.
~It's weird in this apartment by myself once more. I'll [kinda] get used to it, I suppose.
~But it is all mine..and this third year of Liberation from Hotel Hell brims with Promise. Stay Tuned...
Today
...and now here I am up in the desert in our comfy double wide. Le-Le's asleep in the other room. Tina will be up here next week. And The Explanation is at over 50,000 words.
It's been fucking rough at times, and will likely have times when it will get rougher, but Positive Forward Motion has been maintained.
And so it is....
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
"Final Solution" [written 8/11/09]
However I was pleased with its first TV incarnation. [Peta Wilson! rawr]
This new series is not a remake, but a sequel, with Nikita now on the outs with 'the agency' and waging a war against them. And this show seems as hard edged and complex as the original movie. It lifted my spirits.
And it got me back to my previous conclusion that The Temple will need a core of women like Nikita. Yes, I am fully aware she's a fictional character, but 'stories' guide and shape us. Let us then refer to her as a Template. And below is one way I have interpreted such:
~Janel was nervous to the point of nauseousness. At least, she called it 'nervousness'. Truth was, her tumble of emotions – fear, excitement, rage, guilt – was too much of a cascading mess for her to sort out any single one for more than a moment.
So she started cleaning the house again.
Mara watched the skinny raw boned brunette as she vacuumed the living room. At half past one in the morning. For maybe the tenth time in the last twenty four hours. She laughed a bit. “Coping,” she thought.
Mara was doing the same thing in her own way, a drop cloth spread over the kitchen table, her Ithaca 37 12 gage military model pump action disassembled neatly, each dulled gunmetal piece getting loving attention. Again. At half past one in the morning. She grinned to herself.
Cassie was asleep in the back bedroom. Mara knew she didn't mind the sound of Janel's relentless cleaning. “Maintenance noise,” she called it, said it reminded her of Camp Anaconda back in Iraq and she found that comforting.
But no matter what Janel was doing, or not doing, either Cassie or Mara was awake. This operation was in its final phase. Randy, Janel's ex, was on the road.
He'd tracked her down before, three times in the past five years since she'd taken their two daughters and left. Left the yelling and threats and beatings and drunken rapes.
There'd been cops and restraining orders and battered women's shelters. And he never gave up. Janel knew that one day Randy would kill her.
When she'd wound up in one of The Sisterhood's battered women's shelters and told them her story, they agreed with her conclusion. And offered a final solution to her problem.
So now, two months later, Randy was on the road.
He'd gotten a call at his job three states over. “You cunt ex wife is fucking some nigger,” the 'black sounding' woman's voice said in a growl. And gave him an address.
The Resolution Team tracked his truck's GPS, giving regular up-dates to Mara and Cassie. Mara was Inside on this one, Cassie was Outside.
Janel vacuumed. Her girls were hundreds of miles away in the desert learning how to ride horses. Hundreds of miles away from this two bedroom ranch style in a cul-de-sac, the place where they would soon be released from their past. They still woke up screaming these days, though less than before.
Cassie trotted into the kitchen in a t-shirt and boxes, poured herself some coffee. She looked at Janel pushing the vacuum back and forth, smiled.
“My old master sergeant would fucking love her,” she said. Mara laughed, slipped another well cleaned piece into place.
“I was thinking of getting her some whitewash.” They both laughed loud enough for Janel to notice. She blushed, turned off the vacuum, wandered into kitchen.
“I wonder where he is?” she asked no one in particular.
“An hour or so away with a Glock and a bottle of Jim Beam,” Mara said dispassionately. Janel jumped as Mara worked the shotgun's slide a few times.
Cassie pulled out the chair next to her, patted its seat. “Sit down and breath, Janel. Don't want you crashing before show time.”
Janel smiled wanly, sat down. Cassie rubbed her shoulders. “This will all be over soon, honey. And then you and your girls will be free. Now take some deep breaths.” Janel did so and began to relax just a bit.
Forty minutes later Cassie sat in the van parked in the driveway, once again wishing she still smoked and grateful that she didn't. She patted her own pump action, a near twin of Mara's, a short barreled, folding stock, pistol grip baby.
A voice whispered in her ear, ” This is Sky Box. The subject's vehicle just turned onto Dorado Drive, going north bound.”
“This is Top. Copy that,” she said.
“This is Bottle. Copy that,” came Mara's voice on the push.
After a few minutes, a pick up truck drove into the cul-de-sac, then stopped a couple of houses down, turned off its lights.
Cassie checked its plates with a night scope. “This is Top. Confirmed subject's vehicle has arrived. Repeat, subject's vehicle has arrived. Over.”
“This is Bottle. Copy that,” said Mara.
“This is Sky Box. Copy that,” said the 'whispered voice'.
Randy sat in his truck looking at the house where 'his cunt ex wife was fucking some nigger'. He took a slug from the Jim Beam, a big one this time. His Glock .45 lay upon the passenger seat.
He knew he was going to kill Janel tonight, if he found her, then himself. Maybe some nigger, too. He didn't think about 'his girls', but he'd probably kill them too if they were there.
He took another big slug, picked up the Glock, and got out.
“This is Top. The subject has exited his vehicle. ID is confirmed. Wait one.” Cassie peered intently into the night scope. “The subject is armed. The weapon is in his front waistband. Repeat, the weapon is in his front waistband. Over”
“This is Bottle. Copy the weapon is in his front waistband. Standing by. Over.”
“This is Sky Box. Copy that.”
Randy walked up to the door, knocked hard. “Janel! Janel!” he shouted, “Are you in there?”
A moment passed...
“Randy, you fucking piece of shit loser! Get the fuck outta here and go fuck yourself!” Janel screamed from behind the door.
Randy vaguely thought she seemed like she was purposely trying to piss him off, but he was too drunk and too angry to give a shit.
“You fucking cunt! Open this fucking door!” he screamed as he pounded on the door.
“Take your tiny pinky dick and go fuck some dog!” she screamed with real rage.
“You're fucking some nigger, ain't ya!?” he screamed through a red haze.
“Yes I am! He's got a big black cock and I suck it every night!” She was laughing hysterically now.
The red haze consumed him. He pulled out the Glock and kicked the door. It flew open and half off of its hinges with surprising ease. He rushed through the doorway, but then stopped dead in his tracks.
Not six feet away was a large blond in black BDU's pointing a shotgun straight at him.
Cassie heard the single shot, tensed.
After a beat, “This is Bottle. Code Black. Repeat, Code Black. Bottle out.”
Cassie took a deep breath. “This is Top. Acknowledge Code Black. Over.”
“This is Sky Box. Roger Code Black. Over.”
Cassie jumped out of the van and went up to the front door, watching out for blood spatter. Randy's corpse was crumpled in the doorway itself, nothing left north of his lower jaw.
Janel was about ten feet back, looking it the thing in the doorway with an indescribable expression. Mara carefully handed Cassie her radio. “Scoot,” she said, blowing a kiss.
“Ten four,” said Cassie with a smile.
Driving out of the cul-de-suc, she radioed, “This is Top. Code Blue. Repeat, Code Blue. Top out.”
“This is Sky Box. Roger Code Blue.”
Deputy Sheriff Bonita Garza sat in her black and white sipping green tea from a bottle. A large black van drove down the other side of the street, flashed its brights twice.
Garza turned over the engine, turned on the lights, stepped on the brake pedal, put the cruiser in gear, waited.
Her radio squawked a few seconds later, “All units in the vicinity of sixteen hundred North Dorado court. Shots fired. Possible one eight seven.”
Garza responded instantly. “This is Adam one seven. Proceeding north on the thirty five thousand block of Dorado Drive. Responding Code Two.”
She roared up the block, sirens wailing and light bar flashing. She knew exactly where she was going.
Two months later the case file landed on the desk of ADA Jim Dubchek. And then sat there for another ten days.
When he finally reviewed it, he was unimpressed. Randell Pinkston shot dead breaking into the house of Janel Raed, his ex wife. He had a gun and a high blood alcohol level. She had a TRO and a bodyguard, one Mara Jensen, who was the actual shooter.
Now Ms Jensen looked impressive. Bonded and Licensed security agent. Veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Ex-US Army Military Police NCO. LA County Reserve Deputy Sheriff.
The Robbery/Homicide investigation had signed off on this a 'clean self defense shooting'.
“Public service homicide,” Dubchek muttered, and dropped the file in his Decline box.
There was a small nagging part of his subconscious that wondered how Pinkston had found his wife and that it all seemed a bit 'too neat'. Dubchek was a pretty good ADA. But he stashed that nagging feeling away.
He could work that out tonight while groveling before Mistress Carmella, licking her boots, and taking her lashings. He did need to be guilty of 'something'.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Nebs Sez
“September 11th was just another battle in the centuries old fratricidal war between Islam and Christianity over who gets to be Top Dog among the Father/God Cults. The winner gets to kill the Jews.”
Friday, September 10, 2010
Captive Minds
The New York Review of Books
Some years ago I visited Krasnogruda, the restored manor house of Czesław Miłosz, close by the Polish–Lithuanian frontier. I was the guest of Krzysztof Czyzewski, director of the Borderland Foundation, dedicated to acknowledging the conflicted memory of this region and reconciling the local populations. It was deep midwinter and there were snow-covered fields as far as the eye could see, with just the occasional clump of ice-bound trees and posts marking the national frontiers.
My host waxed lyrical over the cultural exchanges planned for Miłosz’s ancestral home. I was absorbed in my own thoughts: some seventy miles north, in Pilviškiai (Lithuania), the Avigail side of my father’s family had lived and died (some at the hands of the Nazis). Our cousin Meyer London had emigrated in 1891 to New York from a nearby village; there he was elected in 1914 as the second Socialist congressman before being ousted by an ignominious alliance of wealthy New York Jews disturbed by his socialism and American Zionists aghast at his well-publicized suspicion of their project.
For Miłosz, Krasnogruda—”red soil”—was his “native realm” (Rodzinna Europa in the original Polish, better translated as European Fatherland or European Family).1 But for me, staring over this stark white landscape, it stood for Jedwabne, Katyn, and Babi Yar—all within easy reach—not to mention dark memories closer to home. My host certainly knew all this: indeed, he was personally responsible for the controversial Polish publication of Jan Gross’s account of the massacre at Jedwabne.2 But the presence of Poland’s greatest twentieth-century poet transcended the tragedy that stalks the region.
Miłosz was born in 1911 in what was then Russian Lithuania. Indeed, like many great Polish literary figures, he was not strictly “Polish” by geographical measure. Adam Zagajewski, one of the country’s most important living poets, was born in Ukraine; Jerzy Giedroyc—a major figure in the twentieth-century literary exile—was born in Belarus, like Adam Mickiewicz, the nineteenth-century icon of the Polish literary revival. Lithuanian Vilna in particular was a cosmopolitan blend of Poles, Lithuanians, Germans, Russians, and Jews, among others (Isaiah Berlin, like the Harvard political philosopher Judith Shklar, was born in nearby Riga).
Raised in the interwar Polish republic, Miłosz survived the occupation and was already a poet of some standing when he was sent to Paris as the cultural attaché of the new People’s Republic. But in 1951 he defected to the West and two years later he published his most influential work, The Captive Mind.3 Never out of print, it is by far the most insightful and enduring account of the attraction of intellectuals to Stalinism and, more generally, of the appeal of authority and authoritarianism to the intelligentsia.
Miłosz studies four of his contemporaries and the self-delusions to which they fell prey on their journey from autonomy to obedience, emphasizing what he calls the intellectuals’ need for “a feeling of belonging.” Two of his subjects—Jerzy Andrzejewski and Tadeusz Borowski—may be familiar to English readers, Andrzejewski as the author of Ashes and Diamonds (adapted for the cinema by Andrzej Wajda) and Borowski as the author of a searing memoir of Auschwitz, This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen.
But the book is most memorable for two images. One is the “Pill of Murti-Bing.” Miłosz came across this in an obscure novel by Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz, Insatiability (1927). In this story, Central Europeans facing the prospect of being overrun by unidentified Asiatic hordes pop a little pill, which relieves them of fear and anxiety; buoyed by its effects, they not only accept their new rulers but are positively happy to receive them.
The second image is that of “Ketman,” borrowed from Arthur de Gobineau’s Religions and Philosophies of Central Asia, in which the French traveler reports the Persian phenomenon of elective identities. Those who have internalized the way of being called “Ketman” can live with the contradictions of saying one thing and believing another, adapting freely to each new requirement of their rulers while believing that they have preserved somewhere within themselves the autonomy of a free thinker—or at any rate a thinker who has freely chosen to subordinate himself to the ideas and dictates of others.
Ketman, in Miłosz’s words, “brings comfort, fostering dreams of what might be, and even the enclosing fence affords the solace of reverie.” Writing for the desk drawer becomes a sign of inner liberty. At least his audience would take him seriously if only they could read him:
Fear of the indifference with which the economic system of the West treats its artists and scholars is widespread among Eastern intellectuals. They say it is better to deal with an intelligent devil than with a good-natured idiot.
Between Ketman and the Pill of Murti-Bing, Miłosz brilliantly dissects the state of mind of the fellow traveler, the deluded idealist, and the cynical time server. His essay is more subtle than Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon and less relentlessly logical than Raymond Aron’s Opium of the Intellectuals. I used to teach it in what was for many years my favorite course, a survey of essays and novels from Central and Eastern Europe that included the writings of Milan Kundera, Václav Havel, Ivo Andric´, Heda Kovály, Paul Goma, and others.
But I began to notice that whereas the novels of Kundera and Andric´, or the memoirs of Kovaly or Yevgenia Ginsburg, remain accessible to American students notwithstanding the alien material, The Captive Mind often encountered incomprehension. Miłosz takes for granted his readers’ intuitive grasp of the believer’s state of mind: the man or woman who has identified with History and enthusiastically aligned themselves with a system that denies them freedom of expression. In 1951 he could reasonably assume that this phenomenon—whether associated with communism, fascism, or indeed any other form of political repression—would be familiar.
And indeed, when I first taught the book in the 1970s, I spent most of my time explaining to would-be radical students just why a “captive mind” was not a good thing. Thirty years on, my young audience is simply mystified: Why would someone sell his soul to any idea, much less a repressive one? By the turn of the twenty-first century, few of my North American students had ever met a Marxist. A self-abnegating commitment to a secular faith was beyond their imaginative reach. When I started out, my challenge was to explain why people became disillusioned with Marxism; today, the insuperable hurdle one faces is explaining the illusion itself.
Contemporary students do not see the point of the book: the whole exercise seems futile. Repression, suffering, irony, and even religious belief: these they can grasp. But ideological self-delusion? Miłosz’s posthumous readers thus resemble the Westerners and émigrés whose incomprehension he describes so well: “They do not know how one pays—those abroad do not know. They do not know what one buys, and at what price.”
Perhaps so. But there is more than one kind of captivity. Recall the Ketman-like trance of those intellectuals swept up in George W. Bush’s hysterical drive to war just a few years ago. Few of them would have admitted to admiring the President, much less sharing his worldview. So they typically aligned themselves behind him while doubtless maintaining private reservations. Later, when it was clear they had made a mistake, they blamed it upon the administration’s incompetence. With Ketman-like qualifications they proudly assert, in effect, “we were right to be wrong”—a revealing if unconscious echo of the plaidoyer of the French fellow travelers, “better to have been wrong with Sartre than right with Aron.”
Today, we can still hear sputtering echoes of the attempt to reignite the cold war around a crusade against “Islamo-fascism.” But the true mental captivity of our time lies elsewhere. Our contemporary faith in “the market” rigorously tracks its radical nineteenth-century doppelgänger—the unquestioning belief in necessity, progress, and History. Just as the hapless British Labour chancellor in 1929–1931, Philip Snowden, threw up his hands in the face of the Depression and declared that there was no point opposing the ineluctable laws of capitalism, so Europe’s leaders today scuttle into budgetary austerity to appease “the markets.”
But “the market”—like “dialectical materialism”—is just an abstraction: at once ultra-rational (its argument trumps all) and the acme of unreason (it is not open to question). It has its true believers—mediocre thinkers by contrast with the founding fathers, but influential withal; its fellow travelers—who may privately doubt the claims of the dogma but see no alternative to preaching it; and its victims, many of whom in the US especially have dutifully swallowed their pill and proudly proclaim the virtues of a doctrine whose benefits they will never see.
Above all, the thrall in which an ideology holds a people is best measured by their collective inability to imagine alternatives. We know perfectly well that untrammeled faith in unregulated markets kills: the rigid application of what was until recently the “Washington consensus” in vulnerable developing countries—with its emphasis on tight fiscal policy, privatization, low tariffs, and deregulation—has destroyed millions of livelihoods. Meanwhile, the stringent “commercial terms” on which vital pharmaceuticals are made available has drastically reduced life expectancy in many places. But in Margaret Thatcher’s deathless phrase, “there is no alternative.”
It was in just such terms that communism was presented to its beneficiaries following World War II; and it was because History afforded no apparent alternative to a Communist future that so many of Stalin’s foreign admirers were swept into intellectual captivity. But when Miłosz published The Captive Mind, Western intellectuals were still debating among genuinely competitive social models—whether social democratic, social market, or regulated market variants of liberal capitalism. Today, despite the odd Keynesian protest from below the salt, a consensus reigns.
For Miłosz, “the man of the East cannot take Americans seriously because they have never undergone the experiences that teach men how relative their judgments and thinking habits are.” This is doubtless so and explains the continuing skepticism of the Eastern European in the face of Western innocence. But there is nothing innocent about Western (and Eastern) commentators’ voluntary servitude before the new pan-orthodoxy. Many of them, Ketman-like, know better but prefer not to raise their heads above the parapet. In this sense at least, they have something truly in common with the intellectuals of the Communist age. One hundred years after his birth, fifty-seven years after the publication of his seminal essay, Miłosz’s indictment of the servile intellectual rings truer than ever: “his chief characteristic is his fear of thinking for himself.”
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Quote of The Day
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Her Prophet Frets
I know that once it actually starts to manifest that the hate will as well. If I'm such a blubbering mess over the death of one little kitty cat, how will be able to handle the first time one of our Sisters 'dies for the cause'?
This is one of those moments when I wish I could give this up and just hide. Yet I know full well I cannot. I'll just have to take it when it comes, Goddess help me.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Miscellaneous Text
E says: "Everything in Creation, which is simply a name for all the myriad universes and dimensions that exist, have existed, and will exist, and which, of course, all exist simultaneously, everything therein is Energy. The key to this is all is that Matter gives Energy Form, Focus, and most importantly, Purpose. Without Matter nothing does. 'Transcendence', therefor, is something of a con game, as are the theo-ideologies that use it as a 'foundation'."
“My Operating Principal really has to be about recruiting the Willing and not trying to convert the Unwilling. While the latter clearly outnumber the former at this point, to be governed by that is to operate from Scarcity. It is to believe that there will never be enough of those who are Willing to do the Work necessary, or to make the changes that need to be made, in order to manifest the Vision that has been given. Such a mindset is obviously self defeating and must be consistently eschewed.”
~E says, "This is the day when we, the beings who rule this world, and have no doubt that we do 'rule', when we have decided that the Doors Between Worlds shall open. There are Other Days like this one, but here, on this continent, resides the Culture who's Vibration overwhelms all other 'lesser' Vibrations. And so This Day is the one that predominates. Think upon that as you travel through This Day. As a species, we Create, and Re-Create, our own Reality on a day to day basis. And I say We, because my Ancestors and yours are now One. Think upon that, as well." [this is in regards to Halloween]