~Ugh...woke up with a really upset stomach. Felt like I'd swallowed a hedgehog in my sleep. Sipped milk for a half hour and it got better. *sigh*
Checked the mail for any more legalistic terrorism documents. Just the expected follow up.
And the lot-rent bill was in. Though we were already a week and a half into the billing period when The Oath Breaker bailed, our electric bill was $87 less this month, though it's still about $40/50 more than it would be this time of year. I expect the water bill to show a dramatic decrease as well. That fucking cunt took a dozen showers a week and hit the washer like she was doing laundry for a fucking family of four.
That's about that for now....
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Legal War Chest
~Once again we're going to the innernetz to ask for money. *sigh* This is a legal battle over our house. Most of it is pure harassment by someone without any standing in the matter, but if not handled we could end up homeless anyway. And it's also past time to legally finish off The Note Holder and end this bullshit. That means money.
If not for the Oath Breaker we'd actually have been okay for the moment as I had stashed money away, but her running up the electric bill and the water bill etc, drained that reserve, so here we are cyberbegging again.
From Le-Le: “We're in a legal assistance no-mans-land. There's legal aid in LA. There's legal aid in Bakersfield. There doesn't seem to be anything here. That's why we are going the unfortunate route of paying a lawyer, and asking for help from anyone who can manage it.”
If y'all are able, donate here: Legal stuff and a call for help
If not for the Oath Breaker we'd actually have been okay for the moment as I had stashed money away, but her running up the electric bill and the water bill etc, drained that reserve, so here we are cyberbegging again.
From Le-Le: “We're in a legal assistance no-mans-land. There's legal aid in LA. There's legal aid in Bakersfield. There doesn't seem to be anything here. That's why we are going the unfortunate route of paying a lawyer, and asking for help from anyone who can manage it.”
If y'all are able, donate here: Legal stuff and a call for help
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Random
~I'd say my general State of Being would best be described as All Over The Map.
It's a little more that three weeks since The Flight of The Oath Breaker and we're healing slowly but steadily...which is as ever not fast enough for me. I want to be Totally Fucking Fine Right Now! and I make myself kinda crazy with that on a regular basis. It's that fucking Patience Lesson that still dogs me.
My writing is roiling just below the surface and yet I'm still not able to muster the...'whatever' to effectively Face The Page. I put various Explanation work files back on my desktop, but so far nothing has popped. It seems I'm much happier playing in The Imperium. That's what lulls me to sleep. I do make notational files on that thing at least, stashing them in the larger working files folder when I finish poodling around with them.
My Higher Self knows that all this will take time. But my 'less higher selves' look around at the unfolding horror of the human condition and despairs...and then castigates 'us' for being so fucking arrogant as to think 'we' could ever have even the minutest effect upon any of it.
I also realize I need to weep some more for a number of reasons I really don't feel like elaborating. I just do. And that tap seems mostly stuck as well. Certain bits of fictional drama manage to wring a few tears out from time to time.
There is a short list of legal tasks that we need to undertake, too...*sigh*
No, I need to just chill for now....
It's a little more that three weeks since The Flight of The Oath Breaker and we're healing slowly but steadily...which is as ever not fast enough for me. I want to be Totally Fucking Fine Right Now! and I make myself kinda crazy with that on a regular basis. It's that fucking Patience Lesson that still dogs me.
My writing is roiling just below the surface and yet I'm still not able to muster the...'whatever' to effectively Face The Page. I put various Explanation work files back on my desktop, but so far nothing has popped. It seems I'm much happier playing in The Imperium. That's what lulls me to sleep. I do make notational files on that thing at least, stashing them in the larger working files folder when I finish poodling around with them.
My Higher Self knows that all this will take time. But my 'less higher selves' look around at the unfolding horror of the human condition and despairs...and then castigates 'us' for being so fucking arrogant as to think 'we' could ever have even the minutest effect upon any of it.
I also realize I need to weep some more for a number of reasons I really don't feel like elaborating. I just do. And that tap seems mostly stuck as well. Certain bits of fictional drama manage to wring a few tears out from time to time.
There is a short list of legal tasks that we need to undertake, too...*sigh*
No, I need to just chill for now....
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Random
~Yesterday afternoon before I lay down again I took a shower and let the hot water run on my neck and for the first time in months, maybe even since the Oath-Breaker got here, I was able to crack my neck. I cannot fully express how much of a relief that was. Definitely a Sign of Healing.
Not much else to say at the moment. Still chillin'...
Not much else to say at the moment. Still chillin'...
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Random
~I'm kinda wrung out today. My tum-tum was very unhappy yesterday. I suspect that had to do with the rather rich dish I made over the weekend. That involved Italian sausage and an entire pack of bacon in a red sauce. It was yummy however. lol
So today I'm 'getting over it'. That means bland food, chillin' and naps.
At least M2E2 Day and Iran hysteria have pushed the Whitney Sobfest out of the news cycle....
So today I'm 'getting over it'. That means bland food, chillin' and naps.
At least M2E2 Day and Iran hysteria have pushed the Whitney Sobfest out of the news cycle....
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Her Prophet Laments...Again
~Earlier today I was watching Heather McGhee on Bill Moyers and was immediately entranced. For me, she is an Archetype of the Perfect Sister; intelligent, articulate, passionate, dynamic, mediagenic, multiracial and a lawyer!
But around 17:00 I turned the vid off.
Like so many well meaning Progressives, all of her solutions come back to the delusion that Capitalism can be 'tamed'. That is where The Left et al fail time and again. They choke in the clinch.
Capitalism is a beast that ultimately eats its Host. Always and every time. We are near that fatal point now, but anyone who expresses that gets dismissed and derided as a 'godless commie', even by most 'leftists'. Such an opinion is Pure Heresy, in large measure because Communism as practiced in the 20th Century was itself such an abject brutal failure.
This was very depressing, another replay of the false Communism/Capitalism dichotomy. Seeing this woman lifted my hopes for a moment...and then dashed them once more. It's a vicious cycle, both here in my little room and out there in The Hologram. There is Another Way, but the vision of the New Matriarchy as put forth in The Pentavalent slays almost everyone's Sacred Cows.
And that makes it seem a totally unachievable outcome.
During my previous – and numerous – lamentations I have asked myself, “Is this Path really The Way?” I know many think I am delusional and at times I have thought so, too. And yet...
When I sit quietly and reexamine the decades of searching and thinking and observing, I still come to the same conclusion; The Male Must End.
*sigh* Honestly, I really really wish that I had a more 'marketable' solution. Goddess knows such would make my life a whole lot easier. But, in the end, it is what it fucking is, ya know...
..and so it is.
But around 17:00 I turned the vid off.
Like so many well meaning Progressives, all of her solutions come back to the delusion that Capitalism can be 'tamed'. That is where The Left et al fail time and again. They choke in the clinch.
Capitalism is a beast that ultimately eats its Host. Always and every time. We are near that fatal point now, but anyone who expresses that gets dismissed and derided as a 'godless commie', even by most 'leftists'. Such an opinion is Pure Heresy, in large measure because Communism as practiced in the 20th Century was itself such an abject brutal failure.
This was very depressing, another replay of the false Communism/Capitalism dichotomy. Seeing this woman lifted my hopes for a moment...and then dashed them once more. It's a vicious cycle, both here in my little room and out there in The Hologram. There is Another Way, but the vision of the New Matriarchy as put forth in The Pentavalent slays almost everyone's Sacred Cows.
And that makes it seem a totally unachievable outcome.
During my previous – and numerous – lamentations I have asked myself, “Is this Path really The Way?” I know many think I am delusional and at times I have thought so, too. And yet...
When I sit quietly and reexamine the decades of searching and thinking and observing, I still come to the same conclusion; The Male Must End.
*sigh* Honestly, I really really wish that I had a more 'marketable' solution. Goddess knows such would make my life a whole lot easier. But, in the end, it is what it fucking is, ya know...
..and so it is.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Random
~I think I'm also fighting off getting sick. We had three months of fairly steady stress and a week of full blown Crisis. The decompression is usually what lays me low.
But I sleep a lot, take supplements, etc, so it's pretty hard for anything to really get a hold of me. However, that don't mean something ain't tryin'.
I did some running around today - nothing major, just down to Staples and Wally's in Lancaster - but it fucking knocked the fucking shit outta me. Gonna eat and such and then climb back into the rack....
But I sleep a lot, take supplements, etc, so it's pretty hard for anything to really get a hold of me. However, that don't mean something ain't tryin'.
I did some running around today - nothing major, just down to Staples and Wally's in Lancaster - but it fucking knocked the fucking shit outta me. Gonna eat and such and then climb back into the rack....
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